Éiriú Eolas guide FAQ

Part of the Casswiki article series Health and wellness

This page is a guide to Éiriú Eolas for those who don’t have the time to dig through the 100+ pages of the big Cassiopaea Forum EE thread. There is a lot of valuable information scattered throughout that thread, and the point of this guide is to show you the usual effects of EE practice and to present the valuable advice for practicing EE that has been given, in a simple and effective way.

This is an informal guide, assembled from questions and replies by many people. (Large portions of the text comes from posts by Laura Knight-Jadczyk.) It is based on the Éiriú Eolas Guide/FAQ Cassiopaea Forum thread. A much shorter, official quick guide can be found on the Éiriú Eolas website (PDF).

1 Introduction
2 Common effects and symptoms
3 Questions and Answers
4 Tips
5 Notes
6 Inspirational Quotes

Introduction

If you have no experience with meditation or anything associated with it, it’s best for you to first practice with exercising your diaphragm and practicing pipe breathing, and then add more to the program as you feel comfortable, and what everyone needs to keep in mind is that you breath in through the nose and out through the mouth, this applies to the whole program!

Another note that I want too give is that everyone who is doing the EE breathing program and is feeling like they can’t take it anymore, I suggest that those of you who feel like that to drop the round breathing and do the meditation/prayer only, after things cool down within you, you can slowly reintroduce the round breathing and when slowly re-introducing the round breathing, it might be appropriate to just do a single ‘set’ (I mean a single whole cycle, ie: slow then medium then fast), to start with, rather than the full three sets, to see how it goes.

Also another important note:

The bio-energetic breathing is NOT recommended for individuals who may have bi-polar disorder or possibly even other brain chemistry imbalances. If you are having really “out there” experiences, then do NOT do the round breathing, stick with pipe breathing and the meditation.

I also recommend all of you to continue posting your experiences and questions in the Éiriú-Eolas breathing program thread.

This guide will be fine-tuned and updated every time.

Remember that every individual responds differently to the EE program, these symptoms have so far been reported and will be updated as we get new data.

Common effects and symptoms

Lessening of joint pain.
Lessening of muscle spasticity.
Refreshing and/or deep sleep.
Feeling energized.
Increased relaxation.
Experiencing sensation of heat.
Experiencing sensation of white light surrounding oneself.
Decreased heart rate.
Intense and detailed dreams.
Zoning out, difficulty staying awake during breathing exercises and meditation.
Sensation in the solar plexus.
Ringing ears.
Tingling or numbing sensation in arms, legs, lips (common side-effects of hyper-ventilation).
Feelings of joy and elation.
Change in appetite (reduced desire for foods that are incompatible with your body).
Hunger after the breathing and meditation.
Getting really really hungry! (Feeling hungry can actually be a sign of thirst/dehydration.)
Bursts of unanticipated laughter.
Negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes surfacing after having been hidden from oneself (temporary).
Abdominal pain, sharp pains in the body (symptomatic of organs becoming more functional again).
Increased heart rate.
External and internal interruptions during breathing and meditation.
Sweating.
Watery eyes.
Urge to cry.
Depression (can last a couple of weeks, only temporary).
Anger, disproportionate to situations.
Feelings of disconnection from the world (temporary).
Feelings of confusion, irritation (temporary).
Perceiving images during meditation (try not to be too distracted by this, it is your mind symbolically expressing what was suppressed in your subconscious).
Sharper awareness, senses, thoughts; perception of actually being in the present.

Questions and Answers

I can’t keep up with the counting, help!

If the count is too long or too short for you, adjust it to what is comfortable.

Do I breathe in for the full counts?

Breathe in for the full count, yes. And try to breathe in as deeply as possible, with the diaphragm, so that when I say “hold” you have really full lungs and can then, following the hold, control the slow release of the breath to emphasize the period of vagal nerve stimulation. The short hold after the release of the breath will make you “air hungry” so that you will be more inclined to breathe as deeply as possible when I next say “breathe in.

I am yawning a lot, why?

It happens when one functions from ‘intellectual’ part of centers rather than ‘mechanical’ or ‘emotional’ part of centers, which means using ‘controlled’ attention. You can observe it in any practices/exercises that require ‘controlled’ attention. And interestingly enough if you continue more after ‘yawning’ is observed, you will reach the point where suddenly ‘fresh’ energy will be supplied.

More about yawning can be found in this forum post.

Can I lay down?

I’ve always meditated while lying down with excellent results.

Am I doing the pipe breath wrong?

”Perhaps I’m not getting the pipe breathing aspect of it down properly. When I make the ‘Haaa’ noise it seems to me like it prevents me from keeping the pharyngeal passage constricted. The only constriction I’ve been able to achieve that produces a similar sound to the audio file is holding my throat as if I were about to make a “k” sound. If I then make the ‘haa’ noise it opens up this constriction immediately. Is this the wrong area to be constricting?”

Yes, I think the area of the throat that is “flexed” when you are making a “k” sound is not the area where the vagus nerve is located. At least when I just did it, it was using a different area than I used when doing the ‘haaaa’ sound. Of course I may be off or you could be having different results making the ‘k’ sound.

If you’ve ever had glasses, the exhale part of the exercise is roughly the same as when you are going to gently breath onto your lenses before cleaning them with a tissue. You just have to breath out with a bit more force. The same ‘haaa’ noise is produced, and for me at least, the same area of the throat is flexed. Maybe try doing the breathing with that in mind and see if it doesn’t help.

My tongue is getting in the way

”What happens to your tongue when you are doing the breathing? Mine has a tendency to kind of “fall in” when relaxed, obstructing the throat and interfering with the “pipe” set-up necessary for this exercise. Does anyone else have the same problem? What’s the best way to deal with it?”

It might help to try to keep the tip of your tongue gently touching the palate, neither too far back nor too far forward. There is more information on tongue position in this forum post.

I can’t keep my arms up, and what is this tingling?

Those who have problems holding their arms up, just do it as much as you can and then put them down and finish that way. Over time, I believe your strength/energy will increase. Lying down to practice belly breathing is also a good idea. It might also be possible for those who have limited energy to do the three stage breathing lying down also!

As for tingling, that is not unusual for some. If the pace is too fast and induces these effects and you are not comfortable with them, then slow down. Go at your own pace, be gentle with yourself! Rome wasn’t built in a day and you didn’t get all those layers of armoring overnight. In some cases, you didn’t even get it in just one life, either!

The bio-energetic breathing part is so long!

I know that the bio-energetic breathing segment seems long, but it is intended that way. If you just push through and stay with it as best you can, you will see amazing results after a few sessions. It will get even better when the process is memorized both in your moving center and your mind. At that point, your body will take over the breathing, the mind will take over concentrating on the meaning of the words, and that will allow the heart to open and release its burden of pain, grief, karma, and so on. When that happens, believe me, you will know it! It may not even happen during the exercise/meditation– it may happen hours later, or days later. But when the lower emotional center connects with the higher emotional center, you will be amazed…

Each of you will need to figure out your own frequency. At first, you may want to do the Beatha/meditation every day for a week or so. Then, every couple of days, or just when you are particularly stressed. Maybe after awhile, only once a week. But you will certainly want to try to do the Pipe breathing as often as you need to, at least once a day, to keep that Vagus Nerve in good working order!

All this crying and anger, is this normal?

Crying or feeling angry or other emotions during the breathing is quite normal. Keep a pillow nearby to punch if you feel like it!

Remember, you are processing – metabolizing – old, stuffed emotions that you need to get out. Sometimes it takes awhile.

When you start to cry, how do you go on breathing?

”Regarding the crying; How do I continue to breath when I start to cry, my normal reflex is to hold the breath, but I remembered to keep on breathing as good as possible. How do you go on breathing?”

Why don’t you just let it be, tears are pure cleansing water. You can cry as much as you can and start breathing when you are ready…

I think I understand how it should feel on the exhale but how should it feel on the inhale?

”I have a question about the pipe breathing, I think I understand how it should feel on the exhale but how should it feel on the inhale? Like the way I’m doing it now is in through the nose and trying to do the constriction so it feels like the air is running down the back of my throat . If that’s clear enough. Like if I try to over do it I’ll start making whistling noises with the back of my throat. Is that right? Then on the exhale the air passes up the back of my throat and mostly running across the top palette of my mouth with the haaaaa sound.”

For me, one of the most striking features of it is that there is almost no sense that the air is flowing in through either the mouth or the nose. The draw on the air is created by the contraction of the muscles at the back of the throat. When you deliberately breath through your nose your nostrils flare a little and you feel the air passing in. When you breath deliberately through your mouth you feel the air on your teeth and tongue. But with pipe breathing the sensations are absent. Like I sad, it’s almost like the air is being pulled by the muscles at the back of the mouth and throat, so maybe it is the air that is already in the mouth and nasal passages that is being inhaled.

At some point I snap into a dream state where I don’t hear the audio, then realize I’m dreaming and snap out again. What’s going on?

This is normal and a good sign that something is happening. I call it “zoning”. I don’t know where you go or what you are doing, but generally, after it happens for awhile, you start to get some other action going in the emotions department.

And just so ya’ll know, when the emotional center does finally start opening and letting stuff go, you will KNOW it. There will be no mistaking it. You won’t be writing saying “oh, I had this funny thing or that funny thing happen… was that it?” No, indeed… you will feel like you are in the middle of an emotional hurricane and need to tie yourself to a tree to remain standing. You may feel like your solar plexus has opened a hole the size of a dinner plate and the winds of the universe and time are blowing through you.

IF this happens to you, the important thing to do is to just keep saying to yourself “This will pass, let me just feel everything…”

And feel everything you WILL!

This is essential. Remember what the Cs said about The Wave?

Cassiopaean session 3 Dec 94:

Q: (L) What does this wave consist of in terms of energy?

A: Feeling.

Q: (L) This wave is feeling? It is a wave of emotion?

A: Hyperkinetic sensate.

Q: (L) What does that mean?

A: All.

Keep in mind that you are clearing this stuff in advance so that when the Wave comes, it won’t kill you.

I have very scary dreams when doing the program, why?

It is the emotional center that dreams. During this process, when you have unpleasant or scary dreams, it is all the negative emotions you have suppressed starting to come to the surface. Quite often you can process this stuff just by dreaming it away. But, the stirring of the emotional center can also lead to a healthy eruption and catharsis. It’s hard to say – everyone is different and has different stuff buried inside.

I did the meditation and prayer before falling asleep and what I remember is that I heard the same kind of conversation all night

”After my daughter went to sleep, I went to bed and started doing the meditation and prayer of the soul for maybe 12 to 15 time before falling asleep and what I remember is that I eared the same kind of conversation all night. (I woke up 3 times during the night and every time I was aware of the conversation before full consciousness.) I don’t know if this as anything to do whit becoming more aware of ours self or if it is just the subconscious releasing negative emotion but I am curious to know if anyone as similar experience.”

That’s really interesting. I used to have those split realities a lot myself! It’s definitely another of the signs that stuff is happening. After a lot of those experiences, I figured I was experiencing bleed-throughs of other lives and sorting things out. I also thought that maybe some part of myself was actually having conversations with other parts of myself, or with other individuals in other realities.

Another weird experience that sort of went along with that was being able to see with my eyes closed.

During the Warrior’s breath my nose became dry and sensitive, any advice?

”I noticed that after the warriors breath and during some of the Ba-Ha, the nostrils got very dry and became sensitive so that I couldn’t take in as much air on the inhale as I wanted to. Any advice?”

You may want to try concentrating your inhalation from the throat & diaphragm rather than the nostril. It allows for much smoother and deeper inhalation in my experience. In other words, when breathing in through the nose, draw the breath in from the throat and diaphragm letting the air gently come through the nostrils into the nose but the emphasis of the inhalation comes from throat and diaphram.

Can three-stage breathing be done without the arm positions?

The 3 arm positions allow you to focus on fully breathing, and progressively using the whole of the lungs:

With the diaphragm, which many people don’t use fully as a matter of course, and is something that is always focussed on in exercises to do with breathing ‘properly’,
Extending up into the chest area, and
Fully extending the chest, so as to fill right up to the top of the lungs.

So the arm positions are a useful reminder, and help focus the mind on the correct parts of the body, and feel the expansion, and especially when raising the arms and putting hands on the back of the shoulders really helps to stretch the body, to maximize air intake.

When sitting cross-legged, my legs fall asleep and start bothering me, any advice?

”I’ve mainly had issues with sitting cross-legged for so long. My legs fall asleep and start bothering me. Pffff any advice?”

Geeze, sit in a chair. Be comfortable. The girls in the video are doing yoga and stuff and they sometimes do the program in a chair or lying down! I ALWAYS do it in a chair! With my knees?

Is it okay for my children to join in with the program?

I think that it is fine for children to join in though at their own pace, in their own way and only if they want to. If they don’t do the practice exactly right, that’s okay – let them do it as a form of play. Listening to the prayer as they go to sleep would also be beneficial and protective, I think.

Is it “normal” to “see” (eyes closed) light flashes during the meditation?

One thing about “light”: If you start seeing lights, it might be helpful to sort of “grab” them (or it) with your mind and try to hold it still. Over time, you may be able to do this, and then, watch it and “grow” it.

Why am I zoning out? Is it because I lack energy or something?

The C’s seem to say its a form of communication with our higher selves. Quote from Cassiopaean session:

A: Humans should remember the hermetic maxim can go both ways in some respects. Those who are destined to “meet” themselves in the future can now do so with greater facility due to these efforts. We once said that “you in the future” could “rewrite” cosmic programs… that goes for others too. They are now learning the programming language.

Q: (L) A number of people on the forum have talked about the zoning out thing, the, ya know… while still awake seemingly, losing all awareness of self and just kind of zoning out. What is this phenomenon?

A: See previous answer and think of it as spending “time” with the higher self/teacher instead of wasting the ability to dissociate on futile illusions. Also remember that “time” spent in this process utilizes this “soul ability” as it was originally intended. It taxes the soul greatly to be embodied.

And we also have this from In Search of the Miraculous:

The fourth state of consciousness is called the objective state of consciousness In this state a man can see things as they are. Flashes of this state of consciousness also occur in man. In the religions of all nations there are indications of the possibility of a state of consciousness of this kind which is called ‘enlightenment’ and various other names but which cannot be described in words. But the only right way to objective consciousness is through the development of self-consciousness. If an ordinary man is artificially brought into a state of objective consciousness and afterwards brought back to his usual state he will remember nothing and he will think that for a time he had lost consciousness. But in the state of self-consciousness a man can have Hashes of objective consciousness and remember them.

– Page 149

In most cases where accidental contact with the higher thinking center takes place a man becomes unconscious. The mind refuses to take in the flood of thoughts, emotions, images, and ideas which suddenly burst into it. And instead of a vivid thought, or a vivid emotion, there results, on the contrary, a complete blank, a state of unconsciousness.

– Page 202

Read more about this below, in the Tips section.

What about this pressure I feel on my forehead, around the “third eye”?

If you feel a “heaviness” around the third eye, also try to “hold it” and see if it is not “light trying to break through.” These are just suggestions, not hard and fast rules.

Is our higher self composed of two or more people? Is this what is meant by “soul groups”?

No, your higher self is not composed of “two or more people” though there can be different aspects. You can feel like your higher/true self/essence is your TRUE Parent, male or female. It is also the essence of your true child. It is, in a sense, the trinity, but it is YOU.

I got really sick yesterday, what is going on?

”I got really sick yesterday – like a stomach flu complete with fever, chills and body aches. What’s unusual is that what I ate the night before, I also had that same morning with no effects. The night that I went to sleep (just prior to getting sick the next morning) I had a really good breathing/meditation session. Initially when I woke up I felt mostly fine, but withing a half hour everything hit and was completely incapacitated. Is this one of the things that can happen as part of the cleansing?"
"Fwiw I’ve been having a few problems along those lines, The one thing I will say is that I do seem extremal tired (physically) from doing this the last few weeks. I wonder if part of me (that blocks my emotions) is needing more energy to block?? Fighting myself perhaps… After doing the full sessions at night I wake up rested (relaxed) but exhausted, if that’s even possible."
"Since I started doing the breathing program in the evening I’ve also had mornings when I feel like a truck had drove over me, even though I slept pretty well."
"In the past few days I have developed quite some tension in my shoulders, and a general lack of interest in just about everything. What is going on??”

Keep in mind that this breathing program ALSO detoxes physically, not just emotionally. When you kick-start the vagus nerve and start putting things back in motion, after years of the physical cesspool backing up, it can be like a hole in the dyke that gets big very fast!

So, for those of you having physical symptoms, it can very well be a detox reaction”) and you may need to re-read some of the Diet and Health information and reconsider your diet/supplement options.

For those of you who have suffered from chronic fatigue or Fibromyalgia, we have just read a very interesting book: Treating and Beating Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome by Rodger Murphree. Highly recommended as an adjunct text to Mark Hyman’s The UltraMind Solution.

As a side note: the husband of an ill woman wrote to me recently describing all her symptoms of “attack” and “demonic infestation” and so on and so forth. It sounded to me like she was suffering from candidiasis and leaky gut leading to Chronic Fatigue. So, I wrote back with dietary and supplement suggestions which the man implemented for her right away. He just recently wrote again to say that all her “attack” symptoms have cleared up (including some poltergeist type stuff!) and they are very happy to know that it was NOT demons.

So, let’s take care of the basics before we start assuming scary things about what goes on in our bodies and around us.

ADDED: I want to also add that you should all remember what I wrote previously about pouring new wine into old bottles. The vessel needs to be prepared and purified. Toxins and other “invaders” in the physical system resonate to negative energies (not a surprise!) When you start pouring positive energies in, there will be a conflict if you have not previously done some serious physical detoxing work!!!

If you are taking “light baths” and the physical body is very “dirty” with toxicity, yeah, there is gonna be a reaction!

What actually takes place during the “light baths” is that the generating of this penetrating light cleanses away all that would make you unfit for the seating of the soul. This takes a varying time according to what your life (even past life) experiences have been. In some cases where purity of thought and action have prevailed this does not take long, in others the process is slower and more painful. But it is cumulative even if you do it more slowly and, as I already said, at some point, without warning, the opening of the “heart center” (the merging of the lower emotional center with the higher emotional center) will occur. That, in itself, is QUITE an experience! At that point, you will experience the timeless, limitless force of your true nature and you will know fully and completely what the inclination and purpose of your life. What is more, you will know how to implement it because the higher intellectual center will be accessible and the guidance of this timeless, limitless knowing will be available to you.

I have not experienced any of the symptoms. Does this mean I’m an organic portal?

Well, first of all, we don’t really know if any of the symptoms (physical or mental) are an indication that we have a soul or not. We don’t know enough of the process to put such labels on our experiences. In fact, if we consider everything that has been posted on the forum about all kind of “personal phenomena” traps, we should be wary if we get any tangible results too quickly or if they sound too good to be true. Of course, those symptoms might be totally genuine, we just need to remember that it’s a process that might manifest itself in different ways for different people, doesn’t matter if they have a soul or not.

And coming back to the issue of being an organic portal or not, ask yourself why you are concerned with a possibility of being an OP? What’s wrong with that? Does it mean that you are doomed? I don’t think so. OPs or not, we all make our own choices, and the rest of it is just self-importance.

Is it more fruitful to do the meditation solo or with the audio? Does it matter?

I think it is helpful to do it both ways. If we assume it to be possible that there are frequencies being transmitted, then listening is helpful for that reason. But, in terms of learning to discipline the mind, meditating on your own, mastering the flow yourself, is also good practice.

Of course, in any situation where you need a fast calm down, or relief from some kind of trauma, the audio can be very helpful. And frankly, from what I’ve read on this forum, and from what I get in my email, there are a lot of people that need this program and fast!

I haven’t experienced what most people have. Did I miss something?

”I have to ask since I have not really experienced the things most people did most often. Is there a possibility that I am blocking myself? Is there something I missed? Or is it just that we not always experience the same things well doing this when still doing it right?”

Be patient! It was only after a couple of full months that I even had significant action. And remember, I wasn’t EXPECTING anything! I was just doing it to help with my stress and also to learn to discipline my mind and control my thoughts. I had read about a guy who decided to learn to meditate in the middle of World War I”) and he began his practice in a foxhole in a battlefield. He figured if he could meditate in the middle of bombs falling all around, he could do it anywhere. That inspired me because I had four little children at the time and a LOT of stress. So that was mainly my goal: to relieve stress and stop being so cranky with my children and husband.

Meditating is like lifting weights with your mind – it gets stronger cumulatively. Depending on what you start with, it can take more or less time to accumulate the “mental strength” to move over that “barrier.”

So, be patient and concentrate on the meditation as often as you can do it. The three stage breathing is nice to do a couple times a week, and the pipe breathing at least once a day (maybe starting off your meditation), but the main thing is the meditation.

Last week was very “easy”, but now I feel exhausted and sad again. Is this part of the process?

”Since last week was so “easy”, I thought I was on some kind of roll. HA! Now I am back to feeling exhausted and sad. All the little ‘I’s are piping up during the meditation – clearly uninterested in focusing – so while I think I am progressing, “they” apparently have other ideas. And then there are those increasing moments of seeing the dark parts of my personality that are so appalling. Makes me wonder if I am really up to this….or just an organic portal with ambitions. It’s soo demoralizing. After spending so many years searching for something REAL – I now find myself wondering if I really have the “right stuff”. I hope this is part of the process….arghhh!!!”

Yup, all of that is the “predator’s mind.” The “oh, give up…” being whispered seductively in your ear…

Don’t worry, been there, done that – more than once. Here’s a clip from a session when I was there:

Cassiopaean Session 15 April 1995

{…}

Q: (L) The other night when we were working without Frank, we got some information that indicated that Frank was in danger via the government. Is that true or was that true?

A: Partly.

Q: (L) What is the source of this danger?

A: Source?

Q: (L) I mean like, the IRS, the FBI, the CIA, or what?

A: Not initialled as such.

Q: (L) Is this physical danger or just harassment danger?

A: Mind attack for purpose of self-destruction.

Q: (L) Is there anything that can be done to shield against this kind of attack?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) What can be done for shielding?

A: Knowledge input on a continuous basis.

Q: (L) And what form should this knowledge take? Does this mean channeled information, books, videos, what?

A: All and other.

Q: (L) A specific other?

A: Networking of information now, warning!!! All others will very soon experience great increase of same type of attack, two of you have had episodes in past from same source for similar reasons, but now your association puts you in different category!! Remember all channels and those of similar make-up are identified, tracked, and “dealt with.”

Q: (T) Which two have experienced similar types of attack?

A: Up to you to identify for learning.

Q: (J) I’m pretty sure I’m one of them because I have been way down mentally and emotionally. (T) Is Jan one of the two? (J) I know I’m one.

A: Suicidal thoughts?

Q: (L) Have you had suicidal thoughts? (J) No. (T) Not me. (Frank) I have had them constantly. (T)Laura, did you? (L) I was pretty damn low. I wasn’t contemplating suicide, I was just thinking how nice it would be if we could just turn out the lights and end the illusion. (T) Okay, so we have identified the two, you and Frank. (L) So, in other words Jan, it is going to get worse. {…}

Notice that this was after the cleansing event of the previous February. I’m tellin’ ya, because of the situation (disintegrating marriage, responsibility for children, poor health, etc) I was in, it was one hell of a struggle to go on day after day.

But I managed to keep reading, to keep doing the sessions – my curiosity didn’t go completely dormant – and that was like hanging on by a thread. Remember, also, Castaneda’s take on it: that it requires discipline to force the “flyer’s mind” to flee.

Quote from Carlos Castaneda:

“They [the sorcerers of ancient Mexico]discovered that we have a companion for life. We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile, helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don’t do so.” […]

”I want to appeal to your analytical mind. . Think for a moment, and tell me how you would explain the contradiction between the intelligence of man the engineer and the stupidity of his systems of beliefs, or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior. Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs, our ideas of good and evil, our social mores. They are the ones who set up our hopes and expectations and dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal.” […]

”The predators give us their mind, which becomes our mind. The predators’ mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now. “I know that even though you have never suffered hunger, you have food anxiety, which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered and food is going to be denied. Through the mind, which, after all, is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human beings whatever is convenient for them. And they ensure, in this manner, a degree of security to act as a buffer against their fear.” […]

”[The sorcerers of ancient Mexico] reasoned that man must have been a complete being at one point, with stupendous insights, feats of awareness that are mythological legends nowadays. And then everything seems to disappear, and we have now a sedated man.” […]

“what we have against us is not a simple predator. It is very smart, and organized. It follows a methodical system to render us useless. Man, the magical being that he is destined to be, is no longer magical. He’s an average piece of meat. There are no more dreams for man but the dreams of an animal who is being raised to become a piece of meat: trite, conventional, imbecilic.” […]

”The only alternative left for mankind,” he continued, “is discipline. Discipline is the only deterrent. But by discipline I don’t mean harsh routines. I don’t mean waking up every morning at five-thirty and throwing cold water on yourself until you’re blue. Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For them, discipline is an art: the art of facing infinity without flinching, not because they are strong and tough but because they are filled with awe.‘) “Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the flyer,” […]

”The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times, was to burden the flyers’ mind with discipline. They found out that if they taxed the flyers’ mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, giving to any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind’s foreign origin. The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong, and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers’ mind becomes routine, until one day it flees permanently. A sad day indeed! That’s the day when you have to rely on your own devices, which are nearly zero. There’s no one to tell you what to do. There’s no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you’re accustomed to. “My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples,” don Juan continued, “that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer’s life, for the real mind that belongs to us, the sum total of our experience, after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty. Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation.” “The flyers’ mind flees forever,” he said, “when a sorcerer succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of energy fields. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers’ mind flees in defeat. And that’s exactly what you are going to do: hold on to the energy that binds you together.”

– Carlos Castaneda, The Active Side of Infinity

Hunger has increased for some of us, why is that?

Well, there is this – “How the brain knows when eating must stop – vagus nerve responds differently to each nutrient to decode what and how much has been eaten”:

At some point during a meal, the brain instructs the hand to put down the fork: The diner has had enough. The brain sends this message before all the food has left the stomach and entered the bloodstream. In probing what signals satiety, psychologists have identified a novel method by which the brain evaluates the contents of the gut.

The vagus nerve, which carries two-way communication between the gut and the brain, transmits distinctly different patterns of electric signals in response to carbohydrates and to protein in the gut, finds Gary J. Schwartz of Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions in Baltimore. These signals largely reflect gut wall contractions-mechanical motions that mix and grind up food, he reported at last week’s Society for Neuroscience meeting in Washington, D.C.

There’s another component of the vagus nerve’s reaction to protein. Schwartz suspects that hormone-like peptides produced by the gut in response to food are responsible for amplifying the signals triggered by the motions of the stomach and small intestine.

Most scientists had assumed that nerves sample gut contents through receptors that, like taste buds on the tongue, directly discriminate specific classes of chemicals being eaten, Schwartz notes. His data from anesthetized rats now indicate that this gut-level “tasting” may rely instead on indirect cues from nonspecific features of the digestive system, such as gut wall motility. Because other stimuli can also elicit both these motions and peptide production, the brain apparently decodes what’s eaten-and how much-from the distinctive pattern of the vagus nerve’s response to each nutrient, together with other information the brain receives from the gut.

Most nutrient absorption occurs in the stomach and duodenum-the upper segment of the small intestine. As Schwartz and his team infused glucose, a sugar, or peptone, a protein, directly into the duodenum, they recorded both gut wall movements and the corresponding signals to the brain.

In terms of the intensity and timing of contractions, and the corresponding intensity and duration of the vagus nerve’s electric firing, “2 calories of the protein produced about a 30 to 40 percent larger [and longer] response than did 2 calories of glucose,” Schwartz found.

He suspects that part of the effect may be mediated by the mast cells of the immune system. Present throughout the gut, these cells “are almost the perfect, ubiquitous transducer,” he explains. “They can change a mechanical, thermal, or chemical stimulus into a neural signal.” Moreover, he notes, vagus nerve fibers winding throughout the finger-like villi lining the duodenum “are in a perfect position to taste what’s happening to those mast cells."

"These are wonderfully coherent, novel, and interesting results,” says Gerard P. Smith of Cornell Medical Center in White Plains, N.Y. While “we knew the gut talks to the brain over these [vagus nerve] fibers, what no one before has shown us is how the fibers respond to nutrients by changing their neural firing.”

Adds Jaak Panksepp of Bowling Green (Ohio) State University, this information may prove “very important in learning what terminates a meal.” However, he notes that over a day or so, the body adjusts its calorie consumption based on past meals and current needs. Therefore, Schwartz’s new findings, he says, may have small consequences for how animals adjust their 24-hour caloric intake.”

As far as keeping sensations below the neck, I think I’ve missed to read it. If it’s not too much to ask, can you point it out?

”As far as keeping sensations below the neck, I think I’ve missed to read it. If it’s not too much to ask, can you point it out ? Is it in regard to physical/inner sensations or in regards to feelings/behaviors/actions that arise & projected to external world (i.e. in The Work – keep your anger below the neck)?”

Just for the sake of clarity here, “keeping emotions below the neck” does not mean not expressing emotions, it means not allowing emotions (or emotional energy) to be “usurped” by the intellect and converted into theories etc. It is better to simply express the emotion as it is, in some way or other.

Is it less effective if I listen to the audio with headphones?

I think earphones are totally fine! I would use them myself in many situations.

I have difficulty breathing, my belly can’t go up properly, any advice?

”I have difficulty breathing with my stomach/chest and up, my belly can’t go up properly,any advice?”

A couple of things that might be useful. Are you maybe not moving the diaphragm correctly – it needs to tighten downwards when you breath in, and then relax back up again into a dome shame when you breath out to fully expel the old air, it should come naturally once you are used to the movement. Do a quick google image search on ‘diaphragm’ – If you can picture it, it might help, and you should be able to feel it pull down and flatten out as you breath in – which will also lift your ribs once you are breathing deeply.

Another thing might be your posture, perhaps it would be worth you doing some simple breathing exercises standing up, to stretch everything out and give you more capacity, whilst paying attention to keeping your spine straight as well – as you breath in. It’s hard to know exactly what the difficulty is without being there in person and seeing you breathe, to see how your body is moving, but it sounds like there is some constriction, maybe some tension where there shouldn’t be. Then for the full 3 stage breathing, the idea is to carry on breathing in, as the diaphragm contracts, so that the air fills right up, and the rib cage expands, because of of the pressure and from the contraction of the diaphragm muscle at the bottom, and the air filling, allowing the chest to lift (especially good stretching with 3rd stage, putting your hands behind your shoulders to really stretch the chest out), and NOT from ‘pulling’ upwards by hunching your shoulders (keep those shoulders relaxed!).

All this will help maximise your breathing capacity. Another thing might be that you are not relaxed, you shouldn’t be tensing the other muscles around your torso / stomach / chest, because that tends to act ‘against’ the expansion, and lock your body into a stiff position and not allow things to move. So, perhaps practice just some simple deep breathing, basically relax, and try to feel the air fill your body, and feel everything moving in the right way without becoming tense, keep a good awareness of the position of your body, and maybe that will help. Stick with it!

For those using melatonin, is it advisable to take melatonin before or after the program?

It would be best to take it afterwards as the melatonin can make you sleepy.

Tips

Try not to swallow

”While doing the breathing try NOT to SWALLOW. Swallowing is a defense mechanism, or distracting “outer barrier” of emotional armoring. If you must swallow, do it, but try to keep it to a minimum."
"I’d just like to add to the discussion about the swallowing, that as I’ve come to understand it the swallowing per se isn’t what should be avoided, but the swallowing functioning as a defense mechanism.”

I would suggest, that if you guys feel very dry in the mouth or throat please DO swallow – don’t try to concentrate all your will power to stop every swallowing reflex that emerges – waste of good energy! This Bioenergetic therapist said on the phone that when these defence mechanisms come and if they are very strong, it is sometimes just better to let them do their business. The main point is to KNOW and IDENTIFY this mechanism. Later it will diminish, with every little “battle” you’ve won.

Don’t force it!

If you feel too tense in the ribcage, neck, back or any other area while doing the breathing, this means you are doing TOO MUCH. If you have not done these kind of breathing patterns before do not try to take the “whole cake” right from the start! In my experience it is highly more effective when you take less air but don’t FORCE it – in this way you remain more relaxed and the process functions correctly.

Be patient

Believe me, the benefits and effects can be going on “under the surface” for some time before things “sort out” in your awareness – IF they come to awareness; sometimes they just sort out and go away. That is, a lot will sort out without you having to do anything except just let the process do its thing. If you try to have “intent” other than assimilating the concepts of the prayer – which is designed to NOT constrain any activity of the subconscious – or if you try to add “bells and whistles”, you could be circumventing your own best interests.

So, please, just relax into it. It’s as simple as it can be and all you have to do is practice it regularly. If you can only do part of it on any given day, do some deep, normal breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and the prayer/meditation before sleeping.

Breathing during the meditation

In response to the confusion about whether or not to use pipe breathing while meditating, my intention was to suggest that IF YOU WANT TO or FEEL like it, you CAN do a few pipe breaths (like 20) to get you into the meditation, and then just relax into deep breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth. At some point, many of you will “zone” and you’ll be breathing however your body wants to.

Loud noises

As for loud noises – that’s not uncommon either. They are like inter-dimensional sonic booms – EM bursts from your higher self in some cases.

You may have electronic glitches around you, things may break, vivid dreams that process out unhappy events, there’s just a whole array of interesting phenomena that can come into play. Don’t pay any attention to it, it’s just roadsigns, not the destination. Your job is to achieve the goal: the BEing that is described in the prayer.

Itching nose

I think that if your nose itches, scratch it and then gently bring your attention back to breathing or meditating. If you feel like you have to move, do it and bring your attention back to what you are doing. Maybe have a pillow handy if you feel the urge to punch something or hug something.

On the go

You can do the whole program, or you can do just the three stage breathing… or three stage breathing and warrior’s breath, or just pipe breathing while you drive to work, or when you want to take a breather. If you do those things, then you don’t need to do the whole program in one sitting… you can just do the meditation before going to sleep. In fact, doing JUST the meditation in bed to put yourself to sleep is good practice because it sets your FRV for sleep time so that the essence/higher self can continue to work while you sleep, clearing out old, stuffed emotions, bringing forgotten stuff to the surface so it can be processed, and so on.

Practicing with a common schedule

It also might be a good idea to reserve doing the whole program on one or two days a week, and only do the other breathing parts as needed, and just the meditation before sleeping. Perhaps if we reserve Monday and Thursday evenings for doing the whole program, and we know that everyone else is going to be doing it on those days at some time, it will add force to our practice? You can assume, with the global presence of the people on this forum, that at any given time on those specified days, your practice will be simultaneous with someone else’s or overlapping in time.

Of course, if you are ill or dealing with a specific problem, you might want to do it every day for a bit, but that really isn’t necessary. What is MOST important to try to do every day is the meditation before sleeping.

Emotional cleansing may not necessarily be obviously “emotional"

"But there is some resistance of a different kind, as it doesn’t happen during the exercises. As it happens, shortly after I started practicing regularly I would experience odd pangs of sharp pain in the upper left portion of my abdomen. This was the kind of pain I never experienced before. As I continued with exercises this pain continued and it culminated last weekend with pretty severe attack – first it started like a big spasm of abdominal pain – of such intensity that i was literally on the floor hugging my knees, then it sort of radiated in waves towards my sternum where it became more of a pressure then pain, like someone has put a heavy weight there. For a moment I thought I am experiencing a heart attack. This lasted several minutes and then pain radiated towards my throat and arms and slowly fazed out.

I am pretty sure this is the part of some sort of cleansing process,“

This is interesting and I agree that it could very well be a cleansing of some emotional event that was stuffed in the tissues and had no other way to get out. It could even be past life stuff. You just never know and others might want to be alert to the fact that all emotional cleansing may not necessarily be obviously “emotional.” That’s why it is helpful to report experiences so that others can see what is going on and compare their own experiences to know that it is all within the normal range. Heck, we may even discover some things!

Mucus in the throat

I notice there is enormous quantity of mucus being produced in my throat, so much so that i literally need to spit it out regularly during the day. With it I have this funny notion this mucus is toxic and I wouldn’t dare to swallow it. Once I had to swallow it – I did feel sick immediately afterwards. Dunno if this was autosuggestion – in any case i thought it was worth reporting.

Once you are “settled in”

When you get to the point that you can do the breathing more or less mechanically, then it is time to begin to focus on the meaning of the words of the prayer. If you just approach them with the curiosity of a child who really wants to know, you may have interesting results.

When you are ‘zoning’, things are STILL happening!

Ya’ll just remember that when you are “zoning” (whether you actually go to sleep or not) things are STILL happening. I’ll never forget something the Cs said to me:

Cassiopaean session 23 September 2000

Q: Okay, I want to find out about this Jack and the Beanstalk and the “giant meaning” you have talked about in the recent past. Not only that, but you have continuously hinted that something is just around the corner, and we are getting to the point where we are thinking that there is just simply not going to be enough time to do anything. Ark’s got 800 pages of Maxwell to go through; he can’t stop working to do that; 800 pages of equations is a lot of work – like months of hard work – and, time is passing – four years have gone by, and zip! I’m not getting impatient here, but time is going and you guys are 6th density and it means nothing to you… but we’re getting older. What we are supposed to do, if we are supposed to do something to make the connection for things to move?

A: You are so anxious. Perhaps you should examine the ground covered, or were you just as close 10 years back?

Q: Well, ten years ago I didn’t wear glasses. I didn’t need ‘em either! I could thread a needle! I mean, this thing called time has a profound effect on physiology whether you guys notice it or not! I know, it’s the soul that counts, but my thought is that we are in these bodies, and it has been subtly suggested that we are in these present vehicles to DO something.

A: But is it not a great adventure?

Q: Well, lately it has been a lot of working and slaving. Working to pay the bills. Then we had to survive this period when the company wasn’t paying our invoices, so we had to borrow on our credit cards, now we have to pay that back AND live at the same time. So, boom! Work, work, work!

A: So maybe you should return to the way things were when we first contacted you?

Q: No! I’m not complaining!

A: Yes, you are, though in a gentle way.

Q: Well, I mean you did so much, you brought us together, did all these things… and…

A: And you think there is no more?

Q: Well, no… but…

A: But what?!?

Q: Well, we’re together and we are happy. And because we are together and happy we feel like we should be getting things accomplished… that there are…

A: And you are not?

Q: Not in a big useful way.

A: So say you. Thank goodness you ain’t an expert in this judgment arena!

Q: So, you are saying that, even though it appears to us on the surface that nothing is happening, that at some level, something IS happening?

A: Oh, yeah!! So… Quit yer bitchin.

Q: Is it too much for me to ask for you to give me just one teensy tinesy little hint about what is going on at these other levels that we are not aware of that is so important?

A: You may ask.

Q: Well, I did. Just give me a little bitty hint… a three word clue… Something to calm me down. Something to make me sleep well at night and that will let me know that all is right with the world…

A: RAM.

Q: That’s the clue?

A: Yes.

Q: Was that an abbreviation or a word?

A: Seek and ye shall find.

Q: (A) RAM. Random Access Memory.

A: Yes.

Q: How does that relate to what is going on at higher levels? Does everything we do, or does the movement of the project, depend upon my pursuit of the psychomantium project?

A: A little.

Q: Is part of this waiting process the completion of the Wave series since that has been consuming my life since May.

A: Yes.

Q: I have to say that the writing of this series has been one of the most educational projects I have ever undertaken. Because, in the writing, I have had to comb through the transcripts and have had to explain it to other people and before I can do that, I have to explain it to myself. It has become a profound mind expansion thing…

A: Good.

Q: It’s almost as much fun to be learning the things I am having to assemble as if I were reading it. And I’m the one writing it. It’s really quite amazing.

A: In part you are.

Q: So, I need to finish the Wave. When I finish that, I have a couple of other projects already lined up. If I finish that, the Lord is willing, the creek doesn’t rise, and I manage to keep breath in my body, I might, in another five years get all the material we have so far on the web. But, it is an enormous undertaking. Day and night, either writing in my head, getting ready to write, writing, or going back over what has already been written. Every day. Consumed with it.

The “Jack in the Beanstalk” reference goes back to an even earlier session, 31 October 1998:

Q: Well, we KNOW that! (A) Now, apparently, everything is going well, and for a while, I think I will have more time to start some real research, and I would like some advice because we don’t know how long I will have this time. What would be the first priority for me to work on for now?

A: The journal, to start with. One’s objectives should be outlined. The scientist usually begins with this for “fine tuning.” We see more opportunities coming though. We led you to the garden, and you planted the beanstalk. Now watch it grow, Jack!

Q: (L) That doesn’t mean there is going to be a giant going around saying “fee, fie, foe, fum,” does it?

A: The giant is in the meaning.

Q: You mean we gotta kill a giant?

A: No.

Q: (A) I also wanted to ask if I should be more active and ask more questions in future sessions, or to ask less questions and work more on my own?

A: Questions open the doors, Arkadiusz.

Q: (L) I want to go back to this beanstalk!

A: Well, what of the fable?

Q: (L) Well, Jack got these beans and planted them and they grew. He climbed the beanstalk and figured out how to transform or kill the giant, and got the treasure, and ran away and chopped the beanstalk down so the giant couldn’t get him. (F) I remember that he used the beanstalk to get to the same level with the giant. (L) Well, which does it mean? Does he use the beanstalk to rise to the level of the giant, get the treasure and live there, or does he run away with the treasure and chop down the beanstalk?

A: Take your pick.

Q: (L) Well, the essence of the story is that Jack was successful. He planted these magic beans and they REALLY grew, like OVERNIGHT! He woke up the next day and the beanstalk reached all the way to the clouds – that is how fast it was. I guess that what you have been doing in this job is planting magic beans that are gonna take off and grow like crazy and be a ladder you can climb to some giant success! If I remember correctly, there was a harp involved.

Emotional reactions as a reminder

I’ve found it enormously helpful to view typical negative emotional reactions as ongoing subconscious equations being worked out on the level of the body-mind. Automatic emotional reactions are just the ‘difference’ that I feel between an expectation and what I actually get. I’ve discovered plenty of evidence of expectations hiding beneath the surface that I didn’t know I had using this approach.

Notes

The best times of day for different exercises

Let me suggest that ya’ll do pipe breathing (three stage breathing) in the mornings, round breathing early in the evening on the days you do that (2 times a week unless you have left it off for a reason) and JUST the meditation, starting with a few pipe breaths in the evenings. It appears that the 3 stage breathing is too energizing and the round breathing can bring up disturbances to sleep.

Resistance of the Predator’s mind to meditation – do what IT doesn’t want to do

”The flyer’s mind (foreign installation) is really hanging on when I’m doing the breathing meditation process. I begin yawning as soon as the pipe breathing starts (even if I do it in the morning) and continues through (I breathe through), and there is excess saliva production (I mange to hold off until absolutely necessary and swallow on a ‘hold’ to maintain the breathing pattern. As others have said, at several points in the ba-ha breathing, I drift off (‘skip in the record’) into a thought, and it seems as if hypnotized and my breathing almost stops. It takes a conscious effort to to get the breathing back on track and the thought out of my mind. Also, whilst lying down, I was aware of a distracting pain in my right foot, big toe and the one next to it (detail?). Discipline is definitely required to keep moving right through the programme.”

And the beauty of it is that ANYONE can practice this discipline because it is so simple a program. Believe me, the small efforts you make to just bring your awareness back, to get back on track, will pay off big time!

I used to go through the same things. When I started meditating years ago, it was amazing how frequently my nose would itch to the point of driving me mad! It NEVER itched if I wasn’t trying to meditate! And how many times did I catch my mind wandering away from counting my breathing, or reciting my prayer!?

You just patiently, over and over again, pull your awareness back in line and just DO it! It took me a few months of practice before I started have BIG effects, but I sure did have a lot of benefits that added up over days from the beginning, including helping me sleep better, being calmer during the day, better able to cope with stress, and so on.

Don’t jump the gun – for now, please follow the program as it is

The recent focus of discussion around the breathing program has turned a little bit towards cleansing, releasing of blockages a.s.o., which I think is an essential need for must of us. But beyond that we have been reminded again and again that knowledge protects and ignorance endangers. We would most probably be much better of in this environment, if we could establish at least a limited communication with our higher centers and receive some assistance. I felt this need for long time and it motivated me to undergo hypnotherapy sessions and ask for assistance from my inner physician and subconsciousness. I reported this in earlier threads and it has yielded some results. The breathing sessions have brought it one step further and I have hope that all of us will be able by one way or the other to establish a direct connection with our higher centers as the C’s suggested.

Please note what the Cs said in the last session:

A: Keep in mind that in order for the techno-spiritual techniques to work, the people of the “blood” must be purified and their chakras must be “connected”.

Q: (L) So basically, we can recapitulate by saying that people need to learn to breathe. Breathing can change things in their physiology. And also they need to use the breathing to get themselves into a meditative state, or a state where they can do the bioenergetic breathing, which then helps them to release karmic and current life programs and issues and get a cleansing. Once they’ve started to become cleansed, then they are able to – and this is supposed to be interspersed with, as I understand it – continuous input of data and information. They did say that you use this to deal with reality. This meditating and breathing is not an escape, this is a healing. Meanwhile, you’re supposed to at the same time – throughout the day – you’re supposed to be paying close attention to reality and not falling into illusion. Okay, so we’ve got that part of the program. And then once these people begin to clear out their traumas and their programs and get free of illusions and so forth, that means that they are then better able to use facing reality and thinking with a hammer to connect their chakras. And that, I assume, means connecting to their higher intellectual center and higher emotional center. Of course, you connect the emotional center first and then the intellect comes in also. So, in other words, they become kind of like connected with themselves in the future so to say. Am I on track so far?

A: Yes. But we would like to point that all “souled” individuals are members of a fragmented 6D soul/being. When they begin to connect with their future/higher centers, this implies a natural connecting with the other members of their soul group.

I want to suggest that you do not try to “jump the gun”. I sorta suspect that if the Cs had thought that anyone needed to do more than the breathing and meditating right now, they would have said so.

Keep in mind that, the instant any system is formulated for a positive purpose, there will be a whole raft of “thoughts” or “novel ideas” that just appear in the mind that seem to be useful, but can be due to either the predator’s mind, programming, or thought wave transmission from STS sources with the intent of destroying your ability to actually make positive progress.

The Cs did not suggest using Reiki with the breathing/meditation, or anything else. So please, for now, all of you just follow the program as it is.

ADDED: Clearing emotional blocks/burdens and karmic blocks/burdens is the prerequisite for doing anything else. Notice also that the main OTHER thing that is continued throughout this process is “knowledge input on a continuous basis.”

Your ability to discern is based on being able to remove your blinders and increase your knowledge. The very fact that you still think that you can think with the way you think is evidence that you are not free of emotional blocks nor have you increased your knowledge.

Think about it.

The process

As I said, it’s a process (The EE Program), and it will go at a sligthly different pace for each individual, or with emphasis on one area or another according to your need.

Now, let me give you a little preview of what can/may happen over the next couple of months as you continue this practice.

What you are doing is establishing a living relationship with the immeasurable force of your own higher being. Just being able to have definite experiences with this psychic or non-material existence is the first step and plays a primary part in true initiation.

Material life is the infinite or cosmic self housed in a body. The body is important only as insofar as it is that housing (though that housing is very important for a number of reasons I won’t go into here). What is important for you now is understanding that the cosmic self/essence has a “house.” The metaphor of the horse, cart, driver and master is useful here.

The “master,” or higher self intelligence possesses a deeper faculty than material intelligence, because it exists in a state of limitlessness, which gives great breadth to its intelligence, while the brain of the body, which is what enables us to manifest “mind” is limited by material horizon. The higher intellectual center has the ability to perceive everything at one moment. This greater range of observation would obviously burn out the circuits of the physical brain which runs a lot of programs and loops that are tied to physical circuits. So this is why, mainly, zoning occurs. You simply could not handle what your higher self perceives. Not yet, anyway.

So, at present, you are being introduced to your immeasurable higher self and undergoing a process of psychic/psychological/emotional purification. You are “cleansing the temple,” so to say.

Repeated practice of this process is this act of purification/cleansing and preparation for the union of the higher self and the earthly self. You are, in a sense, taking “light baths” every time you practice the meditation.

Many traditions focus on this task for years and years and years, turning it into a protracted, painful process. In many traditions, those who seek this sort of communion/purification, often spend YEARS getting to the stage that most of you have achieved after just a couple of weeks of practice. So don’t be put off by the fact that it may take a couple or few months to clear away the programs and the dross of emotions that are a result of programming. You are preparing your vessel so that the higher self can actively “inhabit” or directly interact with your physical brain/mind.

The confusions and problems with most of what gets passed off as esoteric teachings in modern New Age contexts (not to mention older teachings that miss the mark) are caused by people seeking to manifest the force of the immeasureable higher self without either understanding or preparing for it. They seek to pour new wine in old bottles, as the “scriptures” say. They seek to pour into their own twisted and distorted selves (twisted and distorted by a pathological reality) the most amazing power in the Universe – the essence of their higher selves.

And so, the necessity for the cleansing.

So, what is actually happening for all of you is that your are generating the penetrating “astral light” that cleanses away all that stands between you and your true, higher self.

Even with the purest method such as we have here, this can take varying amounts of time according to what the life experiences of the individual are. In some cases, it can happen very fast. In other cases, it may take a little longer and may seem like it is going nowhere, but then, without warning, the light will break through and bathe and cleanse your entire being.

Keep in mind that the higher self does not measure time by material methods and it takes some getting used to – the manifestation of a limitless, timeless force.

Your own higher self/essence is directing the cleansing process. I suspect that some of the effects that many of you are reporting (lights, pressures, etc) are you feeling your own higher self/essence at work.

At some point, when the cleansing has proceeded to a certain point and the higher self is enabled to interact more directly – that is, take charge of the cart, driver and horse, it can begin to provide leadership and direction to your life. Now, since this is YOU doing it, don’t think that it is going to feel like some stranger coming in and taking over. The only way I can describe it is like how you feel being an adult relative to having been a child. You make this leap into your true, grown-up self, and all that childish stuff just sort of falls away. You will become a being that is at once human and at the same time, divine. You will no longer identify with your body or false personality, it will, instead, become a “house” or an “instrument.”

What will happen is that your self, your being, will take on a new quality of vitality and range and initiative. You will become strong in areas where you once were weak. You will experience the constant guidance of the higher self with its “eyes of the soul.” This guidance will be active in the work of your hands and the words of your mouth. You will feel this guidance in the form of protection, also – you will have the ability to perceive danger. Your essence will guide you to acquire the knowledge you need on a practical level to protect the material being from unnecessary harm. The higher self, knowing the power of material attraction, helps you to be aware and strong so that you will continue to be a channel of the higher self into the material world.

So, that is just a brief outline of the initial benefits to come. There is more, of course, but let’s save that for later.

Emotional Cleansing: Peeling the Onion

(After a lot of experiences were posted by the forum members…)

Looks like some people are getting some action. I guess I’m gonna have to either record a talk about what to expect, or write it. Clearing stuff is not going to be easy for everyone. I think it depends on the depth of the individual. Deeper people just simply suffer more. That’s my take on it, anyway. Of course, it’s no comfort when you are going through it.

The good thing is: it IS a changing of reality from the inside out. It is a step toward 4 D awareness. Those people who go through it in advance, are way ahead of the game, I think. And I’m sure that some people can go through something like this without a breathing/meditation program, but just simply via shocks – but that’s horribly unpleasant too. Probably even worse.

The first stage of the process was, as I have described in Grace, back in the mid-to-late 80s. That was a direct result of my breathing/meditation practice which ya’ll are doing pretty much as I did it then.

Thing was, I meditated EVERY night along with doing controlled pipe breathing at the beginning (only) of the meditation. I would then relax into a more normal breathing pattern as the meditation proceeded.

So, that was the first BIG layer of stuff that came off.

Following that, there were a LOT of changes in my life that, looking back, I directly attribute to this cleansing. Each change led step by step to the Cs Experiment. Now, everyone isn’t going to go through this exactly the same because everyone isn’t gonna be channeling as I did it. So just take this in a general way.

The Cs project was a more conscious way of accessing what was in my subconscious/superconscious. Most of ya’ll will get there without having to go through this painful, protracted process. I’m just a really stubborn, strong-willed person and often my stubbornness manifests in resistance to what is good for me. I’m hoping ya’ll can avoid a lot of that misery.

Anyway, so the Cs project was, in itself, an initiation and a cleansing of nonsense in my head, belief centers, emotions, what have you. And it was seven months after that began, in February of 1995, that the next big layer came off. So, we are talking about a spread of about ten years in between two of the major events. I think it had to be that way for me because if I had to go through it all at once, it probably would have killed me.

The fusing of my emotional center began in February, as I mentioned, and it was one heck of a process! It was like losing my mind. It is recorded in the sessions though in a very obtuse way. I did NOT want to tell ANYbody what was going on in my head/innards. So I tried to ask questions about it without being too direct. Oddly enough, there was a “death link” to the event which makes me wonder about PepperFritz’s death in a new way. It was “Frank’s” father. He committed suicide. The thing is, he looked a LOT like my grandfather and I really felt a connection to the old guy even though I only interacted with him a few times. So, it was kind of a trigger when he died, I guess. Anyway, here is the clip from the session when I first asked about it. (Interestingly, it was my grandfather’s birthday):

Cassiopaean Session 11 Feb 1995:

Q: (L) Well, I have some personal stuff I would like to ask about without mentioning it specifically, can I do that?

A: Whatever you desire!

Q: (L) Well, something has been going on with me internally and I just don’t know what it is. I don’t even know who I am right now. I am at odds with myself, it seems. What is going on? Why am I so irritable?

A: You are being defensive, letting go of old stuff.

Q: Well, I am trying not to be irritable.

A: You try too much. Stop attempting and just “Go with it!” There is no need to steer, no need to drive, just ride!

Q: Well, that is very hard for me to do when this energy threatens to overwhelm me.

A: You have always been a driver, that is the old stuff to let go of. Why resist? This is why you have been irritable. Your super consciousness is telling you something.

Q: (L) Why did this feeling begin when Frank’s dad passed away? Why do I feel now that I don’t know which way we are going to go?

A: That was a steppingstone, a “milestone”, if you like.

Well, things didn’t get much better. As I have said before, it was like having my solar plexus blown wide open and all the emotions in the Universe flowing through me like a hurricane. There were times when the only thing I could do was curl up in the bed and rock and cry and try to hang on to my sanity. I really did think I was going mad!

Dabrowski refers to it as “positive disintegration” and “disintegration” is a good word, but I’m not sure about the “positive” part – at least not while you are going through it.

The next time I tried to ask about it was a week later on Feb 18th. Again, I was really being covert about my question. I also think that the energy of this session, which was quite chaotic, reflected what was going on in me:

“This is the session where I was asking the Cs about my state covertly. Notice that I say “a week ago” because I wanted it to seem like a single event and not an ongoing thing because I felt like I was crazy.

Also notice the total craziness of this whole session which was a reflection of the state I was in. You can read from my notes what I thought about it. Any questions that were “outright” may be not so accurate, but I think that the “covert” questions were on target. “

Cassiopaean Session February 18, 1995:

Frank, Laura, Terry, Jan, DM

Now, this is one session that I believed to be corrupted. The woman, D__, was the probable cause – but there was also a STRONG conflict between her and Jan. There were a LOT of peculiar things about this whole session, as you will see. The whole “personality” that came through WAS D__, as we were to find out later. But, also, there WAS some of the C’s energy coming through. I think the first clue I had was when they abbreviated the word “Cassiopaea,” which was odd… almost as though it were a clue that I was only going to make a partial connection.

Q: (L) Do we have anyone with us?

A: Stop.

Q: (T) Stop what, our discussion of all this weirdness?

A: No. And it is not weirdness.

Q: (T) What does “Stop” mean?

A: Close doors.

Q: (L) Well, that is weird, they have never been bothered by the household noise before. (We closed the doors.) Who do we have with us tonight?

A: Teiurannea.

Q: (L) Okay, why did you want the doors closed and are you going to give us our answer?

A: There is usually too much interference from outside influences.

Q: (L) And we have with us…

A: Living room contains too much noise and static.

Q: (L) Well, they have never complained about it before… (J) It must be the t.v… (Laura instructs children to tune down television and get quiet.) Don’t you like Star Trek?

A: Not problem.

Q: (L) What is the problem?

A: Noise and innocent banter.

Q: (J) It’s the kids. (L) Well, they will be going to bed soon…

A: You will not have control of this session, so don’t worry about asking silly questions, as before!

Q: (L) Well, that doesn’t sound very friendly, does it? (T) Are you going to impart some information that you want us to just listen to and absorb?

A: Sometimes friendliness must be set aside to get your attention and redirect wavelengths.

Q: (T) You have the floor, redirect.

A: Pause… wait for important information to be directed through our channel. You forgot id inquiry.

Q: (L) Where are you from?

A: Cass. Children are not cooperating. (Laura sends children to bed. Much negative feeling engendered thereby.) Thank you. You need to be more open, remember, we are you!!!!!

Q: (L) Who is not being open?

A: Not issue. Can you imagine what it is like to look at yourselves as you once were, and to know you still are, and must communicate with yourself on a most unconventional level for union of purpose?

Q: (L) No, I don’t think I could imagine that.

A: Well, try!

Q: (L) I am trying. I guess it would be like looking at yourself as an infant.

A: Okay. Continue.

Q: (L) Well, getting into the mindset of an infant we find that they have very little awareness of what is going on. Their awareness is primarily focused on meeting their personal needs, themselves, food, comfort, and the adult is worried about whether the roof leaks, whether the wind is going to blow the windows in and whether the wolf is going to come howling at the door, is that pretty close?

A: Progress!

Q: (L) So, you find us to be a bit trying at times?

A: We are you, you are us, we are litterally one and the same.

Q: (L) So, you don’t find us trying because it would be difficult to find oneself trying, but it is still possible to be dissatisfied with an aspect of one’s personality? (J) Or, like loving someone and seeing what they could be and being a bit impatient that they are not?

A: Wow! What a concept!

Q: (L) Alright…

A: Laura, you still think we are a separate entity from you. You go around saying to people: “The Cassiopaeans said this, the Cassiopaeans said that.” Don’t you know it is you as you will be?

Q: (T) Faced with the fact that they were like this back then and they are trying to deal with it as it is, and they are trying to convince themselves back now, to open up enough to listen to ourselves there… or something similar to that. (J) Well, I think they have patience with us.

A: Close, Terry. It is fun to us to listen to you as you!

Q: (T) Cool! It’s nice to know that I am entertaining myself in the future.

A: As us!

Q: (T) But, it’s got to be frustrating because when you were us in your past, in third density, you didn’t know enough to be able to communicate with yourself in the future. (J) Well, maybe they did. You don’t know that.

A: Wrong! What do you think this is!

Q: (L) This is the future, the past, the present… (T) But, it is hard for you to understand that now as us stuck in 3rd density… they are me, we are all together, coo coo cachoo! (J) It’s hard for us, it’s not hard for them. (T) They are us, we are them.

A: Not hard for us in either point of reference.

Q: (T) Then why is it hard for us here to perceive what we there seem to understand? (L) Maybe it is not as hard for us as we seem to think it is. (T) Well, how do we get past it, then? How do we get to the point where we perceive what we need to perceive? (J) Let it go.

A: You are past it.

Q: (T) So, just by the fact that we are doing what we are doing, we are past that point. Now, all we have to do is to be able to open up more to be able to do this correctly?

A: Bingo zingo!

Q: (T) Obviously someone else of us likes to say “Bingo zingo,” which you got from us back then when you were here because I never said “Bingo zingo.” (J) It was AL. (T) Al, the hologram said bingo zingo…

A: Or maybe you changed and decided you liked to say it!

Q: (L) Alright guys, can I ask a question. I have had something bugging me all week.

A: Ask if you must, but we are going to have fun tonight.

Q: (J) I also want to ask about that sleep interruption I experienced. (T) We always have fun… why don’t we let them run their stuff out… (L) Okay, run your stuff out…

A: No Laura, we are not the Lizzies; this is Cassiopaea calling. Worry not, channel is now permanently locked in, but damn those tapes!

Q: (L) You are giving me the heebie-jeebies guys.

A: You are too serious.

Q: (L) Well, somebody’s gotta be!

A: No!

Q: (T) Well, you were going to give us some important information here… that is what you said in the beginning of this session…

A: All in due time, but first, we want to have some fun.

Q: (L) Well, go ahead. I want to see this happen, do it.

A: Lighten up, Laura. This is your other persona talking directly to myself!

Q: (J) This does not make sense. I don’t like it when I can’t understand it…

A: Persona. Jan, you always had trouble with the pens and pencils after you/I learned the computer!!!

Q: (J) That’s true! I have to block print.

A: Now it’s me/us, Jan.

Q: (J) So it was your persona talking to you, Laura.

A: Forget it, Laura, it was just only one of many, many learning experiences! They all enriched us tremendously.

Q: (L) What am I supposed to forget that was the learning experience?

A: Lifetimes of “woe.”

Q: (T) Is this one of her/your lifetimes of woe?

A: They all are if we choose to view them thusly.

Q: (J) I have a comment to make to the Cassiopaeans. (T) Does this include 4th density life as well? (J) I may have a hard time writing, but half the time I am already anticipating what they are going to say and am writing ahead, so they should cut me some slack. (L) Cut her some slack, guys. (T) Cut, cut!

A: Slack cutteth!

Q: [Laughter] (T) I’m glad to know there is still humor when you get up to 6th level!

A: There is a lot here, not nearly enough there. Dear Jan, give the pen and paper to D__.

Q: (T) A dear Jan letter! [laughter] (D) I guess I’m sitting over here getting stuff too. I’ve been feeling kind of like a fifth wheel anyway.

A: I,we, heard, D__. By the way, this is us talking!

Q: (T) By the way can be abbreviated BTW, guys.

A: BTO.

Q: (L) What does that mean? (T) By the other?

A: Bachman Turner Overdrive!

Q: [Laughter] (L) Well, Terry, if you didn’t know that one you are really in bad shape! (T) Emerson, Lake and Palmer! Electric Light Orchestra! (L) Well, I just want to say something…

A: Okay, Laura, ask it if you must.

Q: (J) I want to ask about…

A: Laura first, we/she is about to jump out of her/our skin.

Q: [Laughter] (T) Ask away, my dear. (L) I wanted to ask, now you guys are going to be mad at me because I am going off on a very serious tangent…

A: We know, just ask it, already!!!!

Q: (LM) Is that New Yorkese? (L) The question I wanted to ask…

A: No, L__, Miami Jewishese!

Q: [Laughter] (LM) I thought they were in Cornucopia, not Miami! (J) Just spit it out! (L) My question is… (T) She forgot! (L) No, I didn’t forget, I just have to figure out how to word this. As you know, I am reading this book about Holocaust victims reincarnating and remembering their experiences at this time. The question is, on one occasion you told us that the Jewish people, as a racial group, were Atlantean descendants, is that correct?

A: Some.

Q: (L) There is some. Can you give us that some?

A: No.

Q: (L) Is there some karmic element that was fulfilled by the Holocaust?

A: Of course.

Q: (L) Could you tell us what karma was being expunged in that activity, and what group the Jews represented?

A: This is not germane, but it was Atlantean overseers “expunging” guilt from that life experience.

Q: (L) So…

A: So what?

Q: (L) A couple of weeks ago I had an experience where I woke up in the morning and felt as though my tongue had been torn out. I felt the sensation of something unusual having happened. I would like to know what this was.

A: It is not important.

Q: (L) I know you say it is not important, but this had some very serious ramifications for my physical body.

A: As always. And, have we not advised to concentrate less upon physicality?

Q: (L) Well, the point I am trying to get at is, if I was hauled out in the middle of the night by a bunch of Lizzies, or whatever, and worked on, I would certainly like to know about it. I know it’s physicality…

A: You were not.

Q: (L) Okay Jan, ask your question, if you dare! (J) If I dare! I had an experience last week where I woke up about 20 minutes after I had gone to sleep, screaming my head off, because there was something standing by the bed. What was that?

A: Now Jan, you indeed were taken!

Q: (L) Who took her?

A: Our friends, the Grays.

Q: (L) What did they do?

A: Study update on psychic database.

Q: (T) [question lost]

A: Mirth should never stop!

Q: [question lost]

A: Wrong concept.

Q: (T) Was Jan startled and screamed at the sensation of passing through a window?

A: Don’t need windows.

Q: [question lost]

A: Usual abduction experience, as you are familiar.

Q: [question lost]

A: Okay.

Q: [question lost]

A: Yes.

Q: (T) The event seemed to have lasted, in our illusion of time, 20 minutes, because I was in the living room watching the television while this happened. But, the experience that happened to her may have lasted longer or shorter in our perception of time, correct?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) So, when she screamed… (J) Did I stop the abduction by screaming?

A: End, conciousness level border.

Q: (T) So, when I came into the bedroom, it had just finished?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) I had nothing to do with the ending of the event? Her screaming just alerted me.

A: You were diverted.

Q: (T) Well, that’s easy enough to do for me. I’m easy to divert! Give me a computer screen and I’m diverted.

A: All are.

Q: (T) I’m in good company.

Break

Q: (J) I have a follow-up question. After that happened, Terry made the comment that he…

A: D__, please join board!!

Q: (J) Do they want all four of you? (L) No. I don’t want to talk to them tonight, they are being ugly! (D) They are making me feel awfully important!

A: Ugly is subjective. We are you, Laura.

Q: (L) I’m not sure I believe that.

A: Why would we be ugly to ourselves? But we understand imprisonment of physicality and its biological tendencies.

Q: (L) What kind of a snide remark was that? (T) They are just telling you that you understand. (D) We are just talking back and forth to ourselves. (T) They are us. We are us.

A: Snide is your, and also our, perception. Alas.

Q: (L) Well, sorry, but it seems to me that you guys are wasting a lot of time and energy. I mean, we stay up late at night to do this and…

A: Who determines waste factor?

Q: (L) Well, that’s just my opinion.

A: Ours, too!!

Q: (T) Cause they are you and you are them… as the Beatles said: “Coo coo cachoo, we are the Walrus!” (D) Can’t we just ask if they have something important to dispense to the human race or something like that? (T) Is there something more in the light of what you said earlier?

A: Is in process of being dispensed.

Q: (L) And when is that going to occur?

A: Is occurring now.

Q: (D) Well maybe this whole thing is just to let us realize that we are talking to ourselves from the past…

A: Part. Why resistance.

Q: (D) I guess we just understand it and we are waiting for the next thing.

A: We are not separate from you. Once this is recognized, progress will be made!

Q: (T) Yeah. You are us, we are you. (L) Alright, I want to ask what it was that I went through about a week ago when I felt like I was getting all kinds of stuff pumped into my system that I did not seem capable of coping with in terms of emotional control. What was going on?

A: Answered about one half hour ago as you/us measure time.

Q: (L) I don’t remember asking a question about it or getting an answer. (J) You asked about your tongue. (L) I’m not talking about that.

A: No.

Q: (L) What are you talking about… the past life business?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) Well, what precipitated that activity?

A: Ions charged by awareness opening in window of EM envelope, used to precipitate physical trauma in immediate surroundings. “Used to” refers to past tense.

Q: (L) Okay, so in the past, this kind of opening of a window in the EM envelope…

A: You have elevated.

Q: (T) You made a connection with other life experiences, and you were able to experience them in another way. (L) Well, it had some damn strange effects, that’s all I’ve got to say about it! I wasn’t very happy about it. (T) Will she be experiencing more of this now that she’s made this elevation?

A: Yes. Each episode will be easier and easier.

Q: (L) Thank God! When do these guys get to enjoy that particular… (T) We haven’t gotten to that point yet, or we may experience it in a different way. Is that it?

A: Sort of, each has their own issues.

Q: (T) Well, we are all doing different things as we move forward. (J) We all have different issues to work through.

A: Why wish agony upon another?

Q: (L) I don’t wish agony upon another, I just want you guys to appreciate the utter agony… (T) They do appreciate… (J) And we do too… They went through it with you. You didn’t go through it alone! (T) They are you!

A: Why wish agony upon another, all have personal trials, would you/us like to share?

Q: (L) In other words, be grateful that it wasn’t worse. (D) I would like to ask a question because you probably understand it and I do not. If we are 6th and we are also 3rd, in the future, will we be another 3rd and another 6th… (F) In our 3rd density perception, since our time is linear and we are looking at us in the future, talking back to us in the present, but it is all happening at once because there is no real time. And, probably, I guess this also means that one day, which is also today, we will be 6th looking down here… (D) We will be doing the same thing over and over? (F) Sort of yes and no… I don’t think we can quite grasp the whole thing… (T) The problem is…

A: You will grasp it when at 6th level!!! So, rejoice in the “here and now!”

Q: (T) Even at 4th we will understand more than we do now. They are giving us concepts that are beyond third level. They are working with us to prepare us so that when we move into 4th we will have a head start on what’s going on. They are bringing us up to where we already are because we came from 4th level to come here to do this originally, to set the frequency and hold it so that others can move to 4th level. We came from 4th density to do this. They are trying to give us enough information so that we will remember… (F) It is kind of like Hansel and Gretel going into the forest and leaving a trail of crumbs so that they can find their way out. We came back from 4th to 3rd to do what we’ve got to do and we’re going back to 4th but we’ve got to leave a trail for us to keep connected to where we came from… something similar to that, in any event. (F) Is your mind exploding, D__? (T) We, where we are now, don’t grasp all this because we are not supposed to at this level.

A: Learning. Laura just gained one more strand, that is why it was so painful, okay?

Q: (D) Say! Congratulations! (T) Yup, she gained another strand and made Reiki Master! (L) I am in a bear of a mood! (T) Mirth! You in 6th density are enjoying the hell out of you now. We are going to take a break. (F) You gained a strand of DNA?

{unrelated questions edited out}

Q: (L) Alright, I want to ask a question. This is a trick question. It involves mind-reading. Please answer the question I am thinking.

A: Your dreams are valid.

Q: (D) My dreams are valid?

A: No.

Q: (T) Laura’s dreams?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) What dream? (D) your dreams are valid, Laura. (T) Was that your question? (L) Well, sort of. It could apply. (T) They answered your question before you asked it. (L) Yeah. I wasn’t going to ask it out loud anyway. (T) If we could just get them to skip the questions and go to the answers, we would make a lot better time here.

A: Have.

Q: (L) In other words, my impressions of the ultimate outcome of this DNA switcheroo is…

A: Yes!

Q: (T) Any other questions?

A: Go to Pensacola.

Q: (L) Who wants to go to Pensacola?

A: I do, I do. [Laughter]

Q: (T) Is something going to happen in Pensacola?

A: Conference.

Q: (L) Is there a conference in Pensacola? (T) It’s in October. (J) Are you talking about the October conference?

A: One before then.

Q: (T) There’s another conference before the one in October? I don’t know anything about this other conference.

A: Increasing activity in Florida panhandle, vortex. If you go to Pensacola you will see UFOs of all origins including yours truly.

{unrelated discussion edited out}

There are several clues in the above session about the cleansing/moving toward 4 D process.

There’s no words really, to describe it. You really do feel shattered, in pieces, hopeless and helpless and every emotion in the world is slamming right into your solar plexus.

Like I said, I often just curled up on the bed to rock and cry and feel sorry for myself at every stage of my life, and in every life I ever lived, and feel sorry for everybody else around me, those I hurt and who hurt me and didn’t mean it… and so on. Gads! Well, I can’t say I don’t wish it on anybody because it is the real dark night of the soul – the valley of the shadow of death – and you have to go through it to be born. But I do wish it wasn’t so hard and traumatic.

But it is worth it. It really is. To finally find that one little piece of yourself that is authentic, to grab it and hold onto it for dear life and begin to re-build yourself according to what is really YOU and not a bunch of crap that you had to invent to survive or crap that other people projected onto you.

You should also be able to suppress it a bit as long as you make appointments with yourself to let it all out later. I had to do that because I still had to take care of the kids and the house and everything. And it would come in waves… when it got really bad and I thought the pain was going to force me to leave the body, I would just rock and repeat: “this will pass, this will pass, this will pass… I feel it now, I felt it then, let me drain the last drop of it and it will pass…”

Somehow, that got me through it.

I started reading through the subsequent sessions to try to jog my memory about stuff. That was in February of 1995 … and Tom French and Cherie Diez were in the picture. I had a lot of pressure on me to “act normal” and I did pretty much after the initial couple of weeks of feeling like I was falling apart “at odds with myself” “don’t know who I am” “don’t know where to go” and so on. But there were some things throughout that year where whatever went on in this second “cleansing” and opening, that now, in retrospect, seem to be connected.

For example, there was the accident therapy in the background (hmmm… maybe ya’ll ought to get some bodywork done?) and then the strange episodes with the “eclipsing of realities” that came about in July of that year – a year after the Cs came. I think that was an event of making a choice at some subconscious level and even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time, it set the stage for what happened later (divorce, Ark entering the picture, etc).

The dreams I was having were pretty powerful, too. A lot of stuff was just dumping. I was living a lot of the time between two realities. I could close my eyes and still see… I heard constant conversations kind of like what is described in “Operators and Things”. Some of it was creepy. I slept with a radio playing all night long and put yellow bug lights on the porches and left them on all night.

If ya’ll will read al-Arabi (Chittick’s The Sufi Path of Knowledge) about unveiling, states and stations, you’ll see that he pretty much describes a lot of this. Just ignore the Muslim gloss.

Apparently, you have to get used to running a stronger current on your circuits and after awhile, you acclimate.

I was interacting with a LOT of people. I didn’t know where anything was going with the Cs or whatever – in fact, I was kinda depressed throughout because of the deterioration of my marriage and my attempts to continue to deny that. Then, I had the dream in September of that year about getting married and dancing and it left a powerful impression on me of hope even in spite of all the misery I was experiencing in my life. Then, I had the other event and saw Ark’s face like a total hallucination. Like as real as the book in front of me on my desk.

So, the year proceeded and then, finally, 13 months later, I asked for a separation and a little more than 3 months later, Ark came. The interesting thing about this is that I actually DID go to Pensacola, and it was there that I had a dream about being kissed and waked up, kind of like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. The kiss was so real, so intense, that it actually woke me up and I could still feel a “presence”. Tom French and Cherie Diez were at the conference in Pensacola with us, and I told them about this strange “dream kiss” the next morning at breakfast. The odd thing about it was that from that moment, my attitude about everything changed. It really was like being awakened.

So, yeah, it can be a process and it can last for awhile and it seems that it can involve a lot of different elements and phenomena. It’s actually kind of exciting to me to think about it now. Of course, at the time, I was SO afraid – just afraid of about everything. I was afraid of changes, of what I didn’t know or understand, or what might happen tomorrow, or next week, and so on. A real worry wart needing to be in control of everything in order to feel semi-secure/safe. I was cranky when anything happened that was out of the ordinary or not what I wanted or expected. I had very little tolerance for anything or anybody that was not under control, so to say. I was grouchy, irritable, easy to fly off the handle, easily frustrated. I had no idea at that time that, 13 months later I would step out of my world and into a totally different reality where “safe” had a completely different meaning.

But it did take about a year to get used to the higher energy flow, the level of emotional content that went with it, and so on.

So, I hope this helps some of you to know some of the things that can happen and how to cope with it. Just remember, this is stuff that is living inside YOU… and you can either clear it out, or continue to stuff it and remain as you are. It’s a choice.

But, from where I sit, it sure was worth it!

Inspirational Quotes

For all of you “going through the fire”, just know that you are not alone. Also know that it doesn’t last forever … though at some points, it may be so intense that you think you are going mad. What’s a few weeks of madness to pay for the bestowal of SEEing?

Most people avoid their (painful)emotions by suppressing them, in this process the individual believes that he has moved on, if someone looks at one’s own painful emotions, it’s quite clear that you will experience suffering, but this suffering is needed for you to accept the emotion, understand the emotion, and move beyond it.

We all have our attachments to certain emotions, it is such a relief to deal with these emotions, you feel like reborn, a feeling which cannot be described.

From Barbara Marciniak”)‘s book Bringers of the Dawn:

“One of the big secrets that has been kept from you as a species is the richness and wealth that accompanies emotion. You have been steered away from exploring emotion, because through emotion you can figure things out. Your emotions connect you with the spiritual body. The spiritual body, of course, is nonphysical, existing on the multidimensional sphere..”

You will also realize that the more you deal with your repressed emotions, the more easier you will be able to see yourself.

You have to develop skills and abilities within a few hours that will allow you to travel a few decades in your own emotional evolution. You are going to have to travel the emotional highway, because the human body expresses itself through the emotions. That is the uniqueness and gift of your species.

First you will need to open the emotional highways to areas that you have hidden from yourself in this particular lifetime. Memories may flood in as this data is lined up inside you memories about events that were difficult for you at the time or perhaps that you did not have a context for. Some of you may uncover the events of extraterrestrial contact that all of you had when you were children. Some of you may uncover expressions of sexuality that you did not understand at the time you were involved in them, whether you were a passive or an active participant. Such things have been buried by the human emotional body because it is very sensitive to judgment, and the mental body passes tremendous judgment. The emotional body, linked to the spiritual body, hides from this.

[…]

Many of you don’t want to go beyond these emotional barriers and through your personal boundaries because it might be painful. You’d like to say “abracadabra” and just have them be gone. Pain brings you feeling. If you can feel in no other way, sometimes, in order to capture your attention as a stubborn human, you create pain to show yourself the range of your abilities and to bring yourself into life. In this way, you can feel the richness of being alive.

Most human beings are afraid of their emotional or feeling center; they are afraid to feel. Trust your feelings no matter what they are. Trust that they lead you to something and that the way you feel can bring you a realization. You all want to be in life and be removed from it at the same time. You say, “Let me just be here and be a powerful person, but I don’t want to feel or participate too much because it hurts too much and then I will get sucked down. I don’t trust life.”

When you are not afraid of feeling, and you move past judgment and allow yourself to feel all the ways you feel, you will have a tremendous breakthrough because you will be able to /ride feeling into other realities. /Some of you are afraid to feel and participate in this reality; let alone ride into other realities, because you do not trust your feelings. If you wish to have an acceleration, dive into something that brings up feeling. Stop skirting the issue so that you can think you are in control. Dive in the middle of it and then see if you are in control.

It’s not that you don’t know how to feel, it’s that you are afraid of your feelings. You don’t know what to do with them when you have them. They bring up a sense of powerlessness within you, so you associate feeling with a sense of, “Oh, no, I blew it.” You have a boundary in your belief system that states that when something comes up that is emotional and brings pain or anger, then it is not good. It is time to stop tiptoeing around things and avoiding your emotions.

Anger serves a purpose. All of you want to get finished with it: you want to sweep it under the rug and act as if it is no good. You act like it is rotten vegetables, throw it out, and bury it in the back garden as if there is no purpose to it. We are emphasizing that there is a purpose to fear and a purpose to anger. If you would allow yourselves to express and experience your fears, which might lead to the expression of your anger, you would learn something. Those of you who want desperately to avoid fear and anger, and who are really afraid of these feelings, have something great to learn through these emotions. They are techniques that move you beyond your personal boundaries of identity and behavior, and you are simply afraid to experience this.

Most of the time, all you want is to be accepted. You feel that no one will like you if you do certain things or feel certain ways, so you don’t give yourself permission to have those certain feelings. That is where the anger comes from. You have anger because you make judgments about what you can and cannot do. If you do not give yourself permission to feel, you cannot learn. Feeling connects you with life.

Feelings serve a variety of purposes in human beings. We encourage all of you to please trust and cultivate and rely on your feelings. Understand that your feelings are your ticket to ride into multidimensional realities, where you must go if you are seriously playing this game. In multidimensional realities, you learn to hold and focus many different versions of yourself at once. Feelings can take you to these places, particularly feelings that you trust. Many of you are very suspicious and masterful over your feelings. You will not allow certain feelings to come forward, or you judge them when they come up instead of observing where they take you or what they do for you.

Because you have a fear of something, you keep yourself from experiencing it because you put up a wall that says, “If I go there, it is bad.” You put the brakes on. In actuality, your fear will eventually energize the experience into your realm of development because all thought is drawn into form based on the emotional influence behind it. So sometimes the greatest thing to do is to simply say, “What the heck, I will go there. I surrender.” Then deal with being there and don’t worry about being centered while you are in your feeling center. If you intend to go into your feeling center and always be in control, you are not giving yourself the range of movement that is needed to ride the emotions that knock down boundaries and belief systems.”

[…]

You must learn to love your emotions. As long as you describe something as difficult, you are making it difficult. No one else is. You are resisting and judging the changes coming about. You are feeling that you do not know what is going on, and you wish to be in control. Control is something very convenient and very handy. It must be applied at the right place at the right time, like super glue. Super glue in the wrong place doesn’t do much good. Did you ever super glue your hands or lips together? You must learn to exercise control in the way you use super glue. If you screw up with super glue, you get stuck and you can’t do anything. Control is the same way: you get stuck with it, and it sticks you to something that you don’t need to be stuck to. You must be very selective about what you decide to control or not control. The old human pattern, or the paradigm that exists, says, “You must be in control.”

[…]

Get clever. Next time you come into one of these emotional situations, say to yourself immediately, “Alright, I know what is going on; I’m not getting caught in this one. I know there is something here for me to learn, and something for me to change. I believe that I am guided and that I am following a blueprint, so I will check out what is in this for me by not judging it and by going with the flow. I request that all my changes come in joy and safety and harmony. That is my decree. Everything in my evolution I am intending is covered by that: I experience joy and safety and harmony. So I will go with this energy and see what is changing for me and what I need to give up.”

[…]

Feeling is what connects you to your humanity; feeling is what connects you to your emotions. Emotions connect you in this realm of existence to your spiritual body. What we are saying is that emotions, or feelings, are the key to being alive in this reality. Many realities exist without emotions, but in this reality they are your greatest gift. If you deny your emotional self in this lifetime, then you had best realize that you have hung it up. If you are not going to be part of your emotional self, then you are never going to make the game we are talking about. You will simply be one of the masses who watches television and feels like a victim over and over again. If you are feeling pain within your emotional body, ask yourself why you believe the pain is there, what purpose the pain serves, and why you are choosing to create pain through your emotions. Why is it not your choice to create joy? All is choice. We need to remind you of this.

ADDED more:

The passages from Bringers of the Dawn are excellent adjuncts to the program! Barbara Marciniak”) certainly deserves many thanks for her work!

Here I want to quote a bit from Ibn al-Arabi”) on the topic. This was my guide while going through all this:

“The experience of unveiling opens up an infinite expanse of previously unseen ralitites to the heart of the seeker. The realm into which the adept first enters is, after all, the “imaginal world,” or world of the mind. Its byways never end. Unveiling opens the door to direct experience of the myriad worlds of Samsara.

”By being taken up in a state of love, yearning, fear, thanksgiving, dread, or any other psychological and spiritual attribute, the adept gains first-hand knowledge of the unseen realities which these states manifest.

”Like a madman, the possessor of the state loses his reason in the operpowering experience of his state.

”The word ‘hal’ or ‘state’ is derived from an Arabic root meaning self-transmutation, to change from one situation to another. The state is the situation, condition, predicament of change.

”A state is for you to be susbsistent, or annihilated, sober or drunk, concentrated or dispersed, absent or present… the experiences are broadly divided into pairs of opposites and you experience both. First one way, and then the other.

”The states are the divine tasks, the continual transmutation, self-disclosures of God within, the new creation at each instant.

”A state is that which enters in upon the heart without self-exertion or any attempt to attract it. One of its conditions is that it disappear and be followed again by its like, as in waves, until it subsides.

”The state is the changing of the attributes of the servant. Once they become established, they become ‘stations.‘

”States are bestowals and through the states come earnings.

”States signify certain dimensions of spiritual realization that differentiate the advanced seeker from ordinary individuals.

”The state also denotes special powers which are accruing to the seeker as a result of the station that may be acquired.

”The state is associated with several other terms which denote extraordinary feats or miracles which the friend of God may perform. These include exercise of governing control over secondary causes, bringing things into engendered existence, acting through resolve and producing effects in the outside world.

”The possessor of the state is he who is able to exercise these extraordinary powers.

”The possessor of the states engenders things through their resolve and throw the secondary causes far from them.

”When anyone sees such a servant in the extremity of his weakness during the states, he will remember God. God has singled out such as these for himself.

”The states present dangers to the person who experiences them. Though they are divine bestowals, there is always the risk of thinking one has deserved them and becoming proud, or losing mental equilibrium. The states are as trials that the traveler has to undergo.

”When the seeker is overcome by states, they become as madmen, and as a result they are no longer answerable to the Law. In this world, the state is an imperfection, while in the next world it is perfection.

”The ‘inrush’ arrives at the heart without self-exertion and enters in as a manifestation of one of the divine attributes.

”Sometimes the inrush is greater than the strength of the soul, so it rules over the soul. The state turns the seeker this way and that. If he does not master the state, there is danger of losing his rational faculty.

”The object is to increase the ability to receive ‘inrushes’ without being outwardly affected by them. “Without doubt, the possessors of the states exercise a penetrating power and governing control through which they are able to perform the putting aside of secondary causes.”

– William Chittick”), The Sufi Path of Knowledge

”But, exercising governing control may also become a veil past which the seeker must ultimately move.

”Deception is the continuation of favors in spite of the seekers opposition. A seeker may be able to retain the state and perform the miracles without divine command and without punishment. This is due to God’s deceiving of the servant and providing him with knowledge which demands practice and then deprives him of sincerity. Or, he may give the knowledge and deprive of the ability to practice. When you see this in yourself, know that he who has such an attribute is the object of deception and must penetrate this veil.”

[Excerpts from “Futuhat al-makkiyya” of Shaykh Muhyi al-Din ibn al Arabi, 1165-1240 A.D.]

– William Chittick”), The Sufi Path of Knowledge

There is more about the physiological things that accompany the states and how to specifically identify them.

The main point I received from this was that the state must be controlled and absorbed into the system somehow as it confers power.

At the time I was going through some of this, I wrote to Ark:

… I am not entirely sure I can stand getting it this way! Holy Frijoles! For the past two weeks, it has been trickling and gushing in surges. Last night it really ripped through me.

And, I think I ought to consider that this sort of thing could also be some sort of frequency modulation.

So, yes, you are right that the internal state must stabilize and then the external conditions will change accordingly. But, if God had a suggestion box, I think I would suggest that we start earlier on these things so they can be done in smaller steps.

Then, there is also this, from George Gurdjieff:

[Lying] can only be destroyed through suffering. …The principle reason for it is that it is impossible to sit between two stools; you cannot acquire the new and preserve the old. …This is a law: it is very difficult to climb the hill, but very easy to slide down it. …I have already said before that sacrifice is necessary. Without sacrifice nothing can be attained. …Nothing can be attained without suffering, but, at the same time one must begin by sacrificing suffering. …To destroy suffering would mean, first, destroying a whole series of perceptions for which man exists, and second, the destruction of the force which alone can change the situation. The work [of awakening] consists in subjecting oneself voluntarily to temporary suffering in order to be free from eternal suffering. But, people are afraid of suffering. They want pleasure now, at once and forever. They do not want to understand that pleasure is an attribute of paradise and that it must be earned. If a man gets pleasure before he has earned it, he will not be able to keep it and pleasure will be turned into suffering. The way lies through suffering.”

What Gurdjieff meant by “sacrificing suffering” is that one must give up the idea of focusing on the flesh as the means of “salvation.” Whatever a person thinks they can DO to suffer and thereby gain knowledge, will be wasted. The object is to attain the knowledge. The suffering will manifest all by itself.

And, what Gurdjieff never spoke about, and he may or may not have been aware of it, was the nature of beings at higher levels who seek, consciously, to keep knowledge from us and who inflict all kinds of suffering on us either literally or symbolically, to drive us from the path. As a friend of mine says: “If ignorance were painful, everyone would strive for knowledge!” But, it is exactly the other way around. And, the majority of people cannot understand this nor do they wish to accept it. They want to make a profession of faith in Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha or Swami Gotcha and let them “take the burden” of “sin” while the people pursue pleasure at the very least, in terms of feeling that they have “done all that is necessary” and now it is just a matter of following some simple rules of minor suffering; i.e. abstention from foods or drink or certain sensual behaviors.

The truth is, becoming a vegetarian or teetotaler will do nothing to make one holy, though it can certainly “prepare the vessel.” (Editor: Since this was written, we’ve learned that vegetarianism”) is the opposite of a healthy diet.) But that is not really suffering – as those who go through this process well understand. No fleshly suffering undertaken to acquire knowledge will have any effect whatsoever except to support an illusion that one is “more holy than others.” No fleshly abstention is useful except as a preparation for the “real thing”.

When new knowledge is acquired, it can be accommodated up to a point, at which the whole system must then “come to pieces” and reorganize in a new way. This is, I believe, what the C’s mean when they talk about knowledge and lessons and the relation of being at a given point on the learning cycle and “all conforming” to the new knowledge and awareness as a “spherical mosaic consciousness.”

Seeing my own experiences in perspective, I saw this pattern, though it was certainly taking place in modest steps. Since 1985, it has been a constant series of internal reorganizations of the dissipative structure type. And, each reorganization has a serious effect on me in a physical way that has MEANING. I noted that when the suffering of knowledge came upon me, it manifested in ways that have MEANING in my personal experience. I lose my sight, voice, hearing, or ability to feel in a strictly physical way, and to use my limbs effectively. When I make the adjustments, bring the awareness to consciousness, pass through the emotional gauntlet, then the physical manifestations clear up.

So, in trying to fit all the pieces together, the suffering in the eyes shows me that I am SEEING something that is difficult to HOLD and that what I am seeing and trying to hold is an integrated WHOLENESS that comes from accessing and accumulating past, present and future.

I wrote more at the time I was going through these things, mostly to Ark. You will see that these things – this effort to understand the emotional cleansing – became seeds for the writing of The Wave:

[From Laura’s journal to Ark]

There are many, many pieces to this mosaic. Many things from the distant past, my early life, my recent life, the present, and probably the future. And all of these things are like packets of energy being added into the system… and, it may be that the more evolved the system, the less energy is needed to destabilize the dissipative structure.

The fact is that some sort of energy entered the system and I am now seeing in a different way, and have passed through a psychic storm of the flying apart of the structure, and it is manifesting physically in some damned uncomfortable ways!!!

Can we think that this may also be imposed on us consciously from some other level of being in attempts to dissuade us from the path? Can these “attacks” be designed to “separate the sheep from the goats?”

It is true that, at the time that the UFO showed itself to me and my children on August 16, 1993, that this was the beginning of the SERIOUS suffering relating to the present conditions. Prior to that, the problems were centered in the heart and reproductive system. Those problems have ceased. (But, we can see that problems with the heart relate to lack of joy and love and problems with the reproductive organs relate to denial of the self as creative.)

Now, having moved past the “lack of joy” because I was denying my own creativity, and having become joyful in discovery and dedication to knowledge, I find an entirely new set of effects!!!!

For example, for eleven months (there is that number 11 again) after the UFO sighting, my eyes and throat swelled shut every night at the same time and I was forced to exist on antihistamines to control this angioedema. Once the C material started coming through, some of that lessened, and it then became more of a period of relative calm and ease of movement followed by a leap in perception and understanding accompanied by massive physical “fall out.” I thought I had been through the absolute worst back in late March and early April {1996} when I began to perceive the true difference between free will and lack of free will, sts and sto, subjectivity and objectivity. This perception caused me to take very definite actions in my life which included divorcing my husband and eliminating a lot of people from close association because I could clearly see that they were not interested in knowledge at all, but merely the idea that I might be able to teach them some means of manifesting materially or “creating” for selfish reasons.

At the human level, this created massive and overwhelming suffering, both physical and emotional. I was unable to speak for several weeks due to a major inflammation of the larynx, my eyes swelled shut and refused to respond to either anti-biotics or any other form of treatment, my ears rang constantly, and I had difficulty breathing and moving. Every joint and muscle in my body hurt as though they were broken and torn. Having a baby was easier than all that! I felt as though I were being literally crushed. I thought I would go mad from the pain and the grief of seeing what my life truly was and being forced, by virtue of my quest, to modify everything I thought I knew. At that point, I could have plunged back into denial for the sake of peace and keeping everything stable, but I had a dream that clearly told me that I was in mortal danger if I did not take immediate action.

Now, Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes about the “Dark Man” in people’s dreams. I have connected the pertinent elements here and modified it slightly, but it is mostly her words.

”The natural predator of the psyche is not only found in fairy tales but

also in dreams. “There is a universal initiatory dream, one so common that it is remarkable if a person has reached age 25 without having had such a dream. The dream usually causes the person to jolt awake, striving and anxious. The dream usually involves being in a house with danger outside or darkness outside. The dreamer is frightened and frantically tries to obtain assistance. Suddenly, they realize the danger is virtually on top of them, or right with them, or cannot be overcome or avoided, or that they have lost. The dreamer awakens instantly, breathing hard, heart pounding.

”There is a strong physical aspect to having a dream of the predator. The dream is often accompanied by sweats, struggles, hoarse breathing, heart pounding, and sometimes crying and moans of fear. We could say the dream-maker has dispensed with subtle messages to the dreamer and now sends images which shake the neurological and autonomic nervous system of the dreamer, thereby communicating the urgency of the matter.

”The antagonists of the ‘dark dream’ are, in people’s own words, ‘terrorists, rapists, thugs, concentration camp Nazis, marauders, murderers, criminals, creeps, bad men, thieves.’ There are several levels to the interpretation of the dream…”

– Clarissa Pinkola Estés”), Women Who Run With the Wolves”)

Oh, if Clarissa only knew the true level of interpretation!!!!!

”For instance, often such a dream is a reliable indicator that a person’s consciousness is just beginning to gain awareness of the innate psychic predator…

And who might that be??? Could it be those slimy little Gray guys and scaly dudes? How about some blond, blue eyed liars who are so beautiful that we think they are gods?

”The dream is a harbinger; the dreamer has just discovered or is about to discover and begin liberating a forgotten and captive function of the psyche.

How about being warned about the psychic danger of the hyperdimensional beings or the controllers from higher densitites?

”The dark man dream tells a person what predicament they are facing. The dream tells about a cruel attitude toward the dreamer. Like Bluebeard’s wife, the dreamer can consciously gain hold of the ‘key’ question about this matter and answer it honestly, and can then be set free. …

”The dark man appears in dreams when an initiation – a psychic change from one level of knowing and behavior to another more energetic level of knowledge and action is imminent. The initiation creates an archway which one prepares to pass through to a new manner of knowing and being…

”Dreams are ‘portales,’ entrances, preparations, and practices for the next step in consciousness.

”Dark man dreams are wake-up calls. They say: Pay attention! Something has gone radically amiss in the outer world. …The threat of the ‘dark man dreams’ serves as a warning to all of us -– if you don’t pay attention, something will be stolen from you! The dreamer needs to be initiated so that whatever has been robbing her can be recoginzed, apprehended, and dealt with.

”In the Bluebeard story we see how a woman who falls under the spell of the predator rouses herself and escapes him, wiser for the experience. The story is about transformation through knowledge, insight, voice, decisive action. We must unlock the secrets and use our abilities to be able to stand what we see. And then, we must use our voice and our wits to do what needs to be done about what we see.

”When instincts are strong, we intuitively recognizes the innate predator by scent, sight, and hearing… we anticipate its presence, hear it approaching, and take steps to turn it away. In the instinct-injured (i.e. nuts and bolts person) the predator is upon them before they register its presence. We have been taught to be nice, to behave, to be blind, and to be misused. We have been hypnotized to give up our flesh and skins.

”The young and the injured are uninitiated. Neither knows much about the dark predator and are, therefore, credulous. But, fortunately, when the predator is on the move, it leaves behind unmistakable tracks in dreams. These tracks eventually lead to its discovery, capture and containment.

”Wild Ways teaches people when not to act ‘nice’ about protecting their souls. The instinctive nature knows that being ‘sweet’ in these instances only makes the predator smile. When the soul is being threatened, it is not only acceptable to draw the line and mean it, it is required. …”

– Clarissa Pinkola Estés”), Women Who Run With the Wolves”)

And this is a key to free will.

There is more from William James’ “Varieties of Religious Experience."

"At our last meeting, we considered the healthy-minded temperamemt, the temperament which has a constitutional incapacity for prolonged suffering, and in which the tendency to see things optimistically is like a water of crystallization in which the individual’s character is set. We saw how this temperament may become the basis for a peculiar type of religion, a religion in which good, even the good of this world’s life, is regarded as the essential thing for a rational being to attend to. This religion directs him to settle his scores with the more evil aspects of the universe by systematically declining to lay them to heart or make much of them, by ignoring them in his reflective calculations, or even, on occasion, by denying them outright. Evil is a disease and worry about evil is a disease in itself. Even repentance and remorse.. may be but sickly impulses.

”Let us now… turn towards those persons who cannot so swiftly throw off the burden of the consciousness of evil, but are congenitally fated to suffer from its presence. …there are different levels of the morbid mind… there are people for whom evil means only a maladjustment with things, a wrong correspondence of one’s life with the environment. Such evil as this is curable… by either modifying the self or the things or both at once. There are others for whom evil is… a wrongness or vice in [their] essential structure, which no alteration in the environment, or any superficial rearrangement of the inner self, can cure, and which requires a supernatural remedy. On the whole, the Latin races have leaned more towards the former way of looking upon evil, …while the Germanic races have tended rather to think of Sin in the singular, and with a capital S, as of something ineradicably ingrained in our natural subjectivity, and never to be removed by any superficial piecemeal operations.

”…we speak of the threshold of a man’s consciousness in general, to indicate the amount of noise, pressure, or other outer stimulus which it takes to arouse his attention at all. One with a high threshold will doze through an amount of racket by which one with a low threshold would be immediately waked. Similarly, when one is sensitive to small differences in any order of sensation, we say he has a low ‘difference threshold.’ His mind easily steps over it into the consciousness of the differences in question. And just so we might speak of a ‘pain threshold’ a ‘fear threshold,’ a ‘misery threshold,’ and find it quickly overpassed by the consciousness of some individuals, but lying too high in others to be reached by their consciousness.

– William James”), The Varieties of Religious Experience

And this reflects also quantum transitions, as well as dissipative structures. Those individuals with a “high threshold” are probably beings which have just transitioned into this density from a lower one and therefore are able to accommodate more ‘packets’ of energy introduction into their systems without major disturbance. Those that are on the verge of “quantum transition” would be more sensitive to these energies and have a lower energy addition tolerance.

”Goethe [expressed] ‘I will say nothing against the course of my existence. But at the bottom it has been nothing but pain and burden, and I can affirm that during the whole of my 75 years, I have not had four weeks of genuine well-being. It is but the perpetual rolling of a rock that must be raised up again forever.‘

”And Martin Luther said: ‘I am utterly weary of life. I pray the Lord will come forthwith and carry me hence… rather than live forty years more, I would give up my chance of Paradise.‘

”The only relief that ‘healthy mindedness’ can give is: ‘Stuff and nonsense! Get out into the open air! Cheer up, you’ll be all right if you will only drop your morbidness!’ But, to ascribe spiritual value to mere happy-go-lucky contentment is but the very consecration of forgetfulness and superficiality. Our troubles are that we CAN die, that we CAN be ill, that we … need a life not correlated with death, a health not laible to illness, a good that will not perish… said a friend: ‘The trouble with me is that I believe too much in happiness and goodness and nothing can console me for their transiency.‘

”[And so those who experience] a little cooling down of animal excitability and instinct, a little loss of animal toughness, a little descent of the pain threshold, brings the worm at the core of all our usual springs of delight into full view, and turns us into melancholy metaphysicians.

”Conceive yourself, if possible, suddenly stripped of all the emotion with which your world now inspires you and try to imagine it as it exists, purely by itself, without your favorable, hopeful or apprehensive comment. It will be almost impossible for you to realize such a condition of negativity and deadness. Whatever of value, interest, or meaning our world may appear endued with are pure gifts of the spectator’s mind. [For example] love transforms the creature loved as utterly as the sunrise transforms Mont Blanc from a corpse-like gray to a rosy enchantment. [So with our emotions] if they are there, life changes.

– William James”), The Varieties of Religious Experience

This alone should tell us how easily our emotions can be used to control or hypnotize us!

”In Tolstoy’s case the sense that life had any meaning whatever was for a time wholly withdrawn. The result was a transformation in the whole expression of reality. When we study the phenomenon of regeneration, we shall see that a not infrequent consequence of the change is a transfiguration of the face of nature in his eyes. …An urgent wondering and questioning is set up, a poring theoretic activity, and in the desperate effort to get into right relation with the matter, the sufferer is often led to a solution…

”Tolstoy writes: ‘…I was neither insane nor ill. On the contrary, I possessed a physical and mental strength which I have rarely met in persons of my age. I could mow as well as the peasants, I could work with my brain eight hours uninterruptedly and feel no bad effects. And yet I could give no reasonable meaning to any actions of my life. And I was surprised that I had not understood this from the very beginning. My state of mind was as if some wicked and stupid jest was being played upon me by someone. One can live only so long as one is intoxicated, drunk with life but when one grows sober one cannot fail to see that it is all a stupid cheat. What is truest about it is that there is nothing even funny or silly in it; it is cruel and stupid, purely and simply. But perhaps, I said to myself, there may be something I have failed to notice or to comprehend. it is not possible that this condition of despair should be natural to mankind. And I sought for an explanaton in all the branches of knowledge acquired by men. I questioned painfully and protractedly and with no idle curiosity. I sought, not with indolence, but loboriously and obstinately for days and nights on end. I sought like a man who is lost and seeks to save himself – and I found nothing. I became convinced, moreover, that all those who before me had sought for an answer in the sciences have also found nothing. And not only this, but that they have recognized that the very thing which was leading me to despair – the meaningless absurdity of life – is the only incontestable knowledge accessible to man.’

– William James”), The Varieties of Religious Experience

And I can echo the above with certitude as having been my own experience. Only, I did come to a conclusion: that the object of this knowledge is to move to an entirely new level of being.

”The only thing that need interest us now is the phenomenon of this absolute disenchantment with ordinary life… when disillusionment has gone as far as this, when one has tasted of the fruit of the tree, and the happiness of Eden never comes again… the only happiness that then can come is something vastly more complex, including natural evil as one of its elements. The sufferer is born again as a deeper kind of conscious being than he could be before.

”Having arrived at this point, we can see the antagonism that must arise between the ‘healthy-minded’ optimist and the morbid-minded who take the experience of viewing evil as essential. To the latter, ‘healthy-mindedness’ seems unspeakably blind and shallow. To the former, the latter seems seems unmanly and diseased. They believe that there is something almost obscene about these children of wrath and cravers of a second birth. And, if religious intolerance, hanging and burning at the stake, were still in vogue, there is little doubt that the ‘healthy-minded’ would advocate the destruction of the morbid minded rather than the other way around.

”The method of averting one’s attention from evil, and living simply in the light of good is splendid as long as it will work. …yet there is no doubt that ‘healthy-mindedness is inadequate as a philosophical doctrine, because the evil facts which it refuses positively to account for are a genuine portion of reality; and these evil facts may be, after all, the best key to life’s significance, and possibly the only openers of our eyes to the deepest levels of truth.

”The lunatic’s visions of horror are all drawn from the material of daily fact. Our civilization is founded on the shambles and every individual existence goes out in a lonely spasm of helpless agony. To believe in the carnivorous reptiles of geologic times is hard for our imagination – they seem too much like museum specimens. Yet there is no tooth in any one of those museum skulls that did not daily hold fast to the body struggling in despair of some fated living victim. Forms of horror just as dreadful to the victims fill the world about us today. Here, on our very hearths, the infernal cat plays with the panting mouse or holds the hot bird fluttering in her jaws. Crocodiles, pythons and rattlesnakes are vessels of life as real as we are; and whenever they or other wild beasts clutch their living prey, the deadly horror which the morbid minded feels is the literally right reaction to the situation.

”…Since the evil facts are as genuine parts of nature as the good ones, and our philosophic presumption should be that they have some rational significance, then systematic failure to accord these things active attention is less complete than those systems that attempt to include these elements in their scope. The ‘healthy-minded optimists only need to be born once, but the ‘sick souls’ need to be born twice to be happy.

– William James”), The Varieties of Religious Experience

The result is two different conceptions of the universe: subjective and objective.

”In the once born, the world is a one-storied affair… whose parts have just the values which they appear to have… [to the twice born] the world is a double-storied mystery. Natural good is not simply insufficient in amount and transient, there lurks a falsity in its very being. It keeps us from our real good and renunciation and despair of it are our first step in the direction of the truth. There are two lives, the natural and the spiritual and we must lose the one before we can participate in the other.”

– William James”), The Varieties of Religious Experience

Someone wrote to me, regarding the C material and the ideas above:

“So, Jesus gives us the message, asks us to learn from it, but surely doesn’t force it on us. He was an optimist. Offered us the best of both worlds-– a no lose proposition!”

I responded with quotes from the New Testament”):

“I have given and delivered to them Your Word; and world has hated them, because they are not of the world – do not belong to the world – as I am not of the world."

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you."

"The world cannot hate you, but it does hate Me, because I denounce it for its wicked works and reveal that its doings are evil."

"He said to them, You are from below; I am from above. you are of this world – of this earthly order. I am not of this world. "

"Any one who loves his life loses it. But any one who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. Whoever has no love for, no concern for, no regard for his life here on the earth, but despises it, preserves his life forever and ever."

"Now the judgment of this world is coming – sentence is now being passed on this world. Now the ruler, evil genius, prince of this world shall be cast out -expelled. And if I be *lifted up from the earth,* I will draw and attract all men to myself.”

– Jesus”)

Juxtaposing the above sayings of Jesus against the passages from James gives fuller insight into the process. It seems to me that we can achieve knowledge only by comparing the two sides, positive and negative, which have become separated from each other. As long as the two sides are together, there is no creation. The visible world is only recognizable because of this separation from unity in which nothing and everything are at rest within each other.

All creation is like a tree which bears positive fruit on one side and negative fruit on the other. It is still on the same tree. Only through this separation and comparison is it possible to achieve recognition and knowledge, and because of this, the material world must consist of good and evil. Otherwise, nothing could exist.

The material world is the tree of knowledge of good and evil. To eat of something is to become identical with it; for what you eat is what you will become. By identifying in any way with this world, we retain this fruit within us. We have identified our consciousness with it and become subject to it. Therefore, the material world is the result of separation. Our bodies are the material, manifested part of our true selves.

The striving for reunion is the desiring of the manifested part of the consciousness to reunite with the unmanifested God consciousness. This striving toward the “God state” or unification of positive and negative forces is the source of all power in the manifested world. And, opening to the objective, but painful, reality of the material world is crucial to this process. Wherever negative forces are manifested, positive forces are present in the unmanifested state. So, it might be said that the more darkness one can be aware of, the more light one is capable of receiving.

So, for all of you “going through the fire”, just know that you are not alone. Also know that it doesn’t last forever … though at some points, it may be so intense that you think you are going mad. What’s a few weeks of madness to pay for the bestowal of SEEing?

Explorer

Éiriú Eolas guide FAQ

Contents

Introduction

Common effects and symptoms

Questions and Answers

I can’t keep up with the counting, help!

Do I breathe in for the full counts?

I am yawning a lot, why?

Can I lay down?

Am I doing the pipe breath wrong?

My tongue is getting in the way

I can’t keep my arms up, and what is this tingling?

The bio-energetic breathing part is so long!

All this crying and anger, is this normal?

When you start to cry, how do you go on breathing?

I think I understand how it should feel on the exhale but how should it feel on the inhale?

At some point I snap into a dream state where I don’t hear the audio, then realize I’m dreaming and snap out again. What’s going on?

I have very scary dreams when doing the program, why?

I did the meditation and prayer before falling asleep and what I remember is that I heard the same kind of conversation all night

During the Warrior’s breath my nose became dry and sensitive, any advice?

Can three-stage breathing be done without the arm positions?

When sitting cross-legged, my legs fall asleep and start bothering me, any advice?

Is it okay for my children to join in with the program?

Is it “normal” to “see” (eyes closed) light flashes during the meditation?

Why am I zoning out? Is it because I lack energy or something?

What about this pressure I feel on my forehead, around the “third eye”?

Is our higher self composed of two or more people? Is this what is meant by “soul groups”?

I got really sick yesterday, what is going on?

I have not experienced any of the symptoms. Does this mean I’m an organic portal?

Is it more fruitful to do the meditation solo or with the audio? Does it matter?

I haven’t experienced what most people have. Did I miss something?

Last week was very “easy”, but now I feel exhausted and sad again. Is this part of the process?

Hunger has increased for some of us, why is that?

As far as keeping sensations below the neck, I think I’ve missed to read it. If it’s not too much to ask, can you point it out?

Is it less effective if I listen to the audio with headphones?

I have difficulty breathing, my belly can’t go up properly, any advice?

For those using melatonin, is it advisable to take melatonin before or after the program?

Tips

Try not to swallow

Don’t force it!

Be patient

Breathing during the meditation

Loud noises

Itching nose

On the go

Practicing with a common schedule

Emotional cleansing may not necessarily be obviously “emotional"

Mucus in the throat

Once you are “settled in”

When you are ‘zoning’, things are STILL happening!

Emotional reactions as a reminder

Notes

The best times of day for different exercises

Resistance of the Predator’s mind to meditation – do what IT doesn’t want to do

Don’t jump the gun – for now, please follow the program as it is

The process

Emotional Cleansing: Peeling the Onion

Inspirational Quotes

Graph View

Table of Contents

Backlinks